Garbergirl

And the tattles begin...

2011-09-01T23:00:00.000-06:00

B: We were playing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen at recess and M. was a Decepticon and he took all our powers.

Not sure about this one, but if you're playing Transformers isn't that kind of the point? How does one "take all your powers?" Maybe I should investigate this further.

I love that they subtitle their recess games.

Haven't Laughed this Hard in Long time.

2011-08-21T17:33:00.000-06:00

I know I've been MIA for awhile. Can't promise I won't disappear again, but this was too funny not to post.

Daylight Savings

2011-03-12T21:17:00.002-07:00

Trying to stay positive. Usually I'm just bitter.

Blow out

2011-03-03T16:44:00.002-07:00

My blow dryer died this morning. I drove to school with the window down. It wasn't pretty.

A Little Syrup for a Saturday morning

2011-02-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

The Grammys

2011-02-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

Loved the show last night. I didn't watch it live and I thought I'd just buzz through the whole thing before I went to bed but it was so good the only things I could skip were the commercials and Barbara Streisand -- sorry Babs, but your performance just did not have the energy that every other one did.

It got off to a slightly shaky start with the Aretha Franklin tribute -- love Jennifer Hudson -- she should have done it all. But from there on out I was spellbound. Lady Gaga is so weird but she knows how to write a catchy tune. Bruno Mars songs are overplayed and annoying but I loved the remix and can appreciate his musical talent. The Cee Lo's song was funny considering the lyrics. I mean puppets, peacock, and Gwenyth? Usher and Justin Bieber and the whole Pinkett-Smith family are just fun to watch (seriously gonna go see Never Say Never) and I am still haunted by Eminem and Rhianna. I loved Love the Way you Lie the first time I heard it and last night with the flames and the fire it was perfection. I woke up humming it in my head.

The gem of the night was getting to see my favorite band of the year Mumford & Sons play with the Avett Brothers and Bob Dylan. I was secretly hoping they'd pull off an upset and win Best New Artist. I thought Justin Bieber or Drake had it on lock. If Florence and the Machine won I might have broken my TV but Esperanza Spalding? Hmm, Who Knew?

My other favorite of the night was Keith Urban, John Mayer, and Norah Jones singing Jolene--Awesome. I'm happy for Arcade Fire getting best album, but I kinda think Eminem was robbed. You know who wasn't robbed? Muse. Really great show.

Wolf Review

2011-02-02T15:46:00.000-07:00

So it's after school and I'm sitting in my classroom when my teammate comes in and shares a link which made me laugh so hard I nearly had to drive home, because let's just say it was an inside recess day and I haven't been able to leave the kiddos long enough to take care of some personal um...needs. Anyway -- Here it is -- be prepared -- you might want to potty first.

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22,459 of 22,665 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Dual Function Design, November 10, 2008

B. Govern "Bee-Dot-Govern" (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)

This review is from: The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee (Apparel)

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

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4,895 of 5,003 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great compliment for my skin art, May 19, 2009

overlook1977 (Raleigh, NC United States) - See all my reviews

Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.

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2,333 of 2,383 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Video Proof of the Shirts Power!, May 27, 2009

D. Drury "Three Wolf Man" (Haines, AK United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)

Length:: 3:36 Mins
The Three Wolf Moon shirts power is obvious. This video is living proof that you will get women, and fly. Most importantly my son was born without bones and when I put this shirt on him he grew bones. Don't ask me how it happened but the magic is there. I wish I could hug the designer of this shirt and thank them for everything they have done for my family.

You can see the original reviews as The Mountain Three Wolf Man Tee

Getting Over It

2011-01-09T17:38:00.002-07:00

So my computer crashed. Big time. It happened over Christmas break and I was pretty devastated. It was completely trashed and I lost everything -- I didn't back it up. My bad. But, I now have a brand new external hard drive and I also did some retail therapy to help me get over all my lost songs on itunes. I'm pretty proud of myself for the upbeat, happy, and peppy tempos -- not my usual fare.

Here are the songs that I can't stop listening too:

Hey, Soul Sister by Train (I know this is so pop, so last summer, so Glee, but I LOVE it!)
Rolling in the Deep by Adele (Give it one listen and the base beat will have you hooked.)
Road to Ride by Joshua Radin (Love me some Josh)
New Slang by The Shins (I thought I had this on my iPod but can't find it anywhere. This may be the 3rd time I've purchased this song.)
Waiting for the End by Linkin Park (I believe this might be considered a rock power ballad)

And my FAVORITE song of the new year.

The Cave by Mumford and Sons (Great, great, great band)

2011-01-08T15:29:00.002-07:00

Cooking is so much more satisfying when you have a really sharp knife.

Win Today

2010-12-31T08:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's the new year and I'm trying to be inspired. It's working. I lifted this sentiment from Life does Jed Brother of Ben does Life from the below video. I love it. It says everything about forgiveness and not giving up on yourself. Usually I keep these kinds of posts on my private blog, but 'tis the season and I'm putting it out there for all to see.

Nathangetsfit said yesterday was an epic failure. So I am going to tell him the same thing I tell my players on a daily basis. Win Today. You can’t do anything about yesterday and tomorrow will always be a day away. Win Today. Could you have done better yesterday? Absolutely. Could it have been worse? Easily. Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself and don’t use it as an excuse to screw up today. Worry about one day at a time. If you can Win Today it can start a string of success and then you will start winning almost every day and before you know it you will have accomplished your goal. Just know that winning today doesn’t make tomorrow any easier. Tomorrow doesn’t give a crap about what you did today. You have to win every day. I tell my players all the time that for us to win on Friday we have to have great practices on Tuesday and Wednesday. Same goes for weight loss or fitness. Yes I want to weigh 200 pounds, but if I don’t Win Today, then it isn’t happening.

Thanks Tina!

2010-12-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

Provo girls

2010-12-11T09:50:00.001-07:00

So a super funny friend posted this clip on her facebook page. You can read more from her at Stacy's Snippets I think this would be a lot funnier if I had actually gone to the Y. Posting it here just kind of makes it seem like I'm making fun of everyone who did, but I'm not. If you've ever been a young Mormon girl you can relate and I always love a good parody. Katie Perry is such a good target. Be prepared for some good belly laughs. I think my favorite part is the girl with the crazy eyes -- trust me you'll know it when you see it.

Provo girls

The Giving Pledge

2010-12-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

Last week I watched a special edition of This Week called the The Giving Pledge. Christiane interviewed Bill and Melinda Gates, Warren Buffet, and Ted Turner. She focused on their philanthropy and charitable giving. The entire program was inspiring and I was impressed with these amazing individuals and their desire to improve the lives of people around the globe. Each one of them was asked if they believed the very wealthy should pay more taxes. They all responded that they should. Each of them realized that the circumstances they were born into helped make them who they were today. I was most impressed by Tom Steyer, a self-made billionaire whom when asked if he should pay higher taxes responded, "I think anyone who doesn't give credit to the system that they are born into is taking an awful lot onto themselves. I mean, I really think that people have sacrificed a lot more than a little tax money to make that system available for all of us. And I would be ashamed of myself if I didn't give some credit to them."

Right now the republicans in Congress are refusing to extend tax credits for the poor and middle class unless those tax credits go for everyone including millionaires on up. I'm ashamed of them. I think last week's show on giving should be required viewing for every member of Congress. If Warren Buffet's tax is about 16% (according to Buffet) and his employees' average 33%, there is something wrong with this picture. He made the point that through his lifetime the wealthy had been taxed closer to 45% and our economy didn't tank. It's about sacrifice and paying back into the system that made them wealthy. I'm not wealthy, but I recognize that taxes are there to help society function. It's how we pay for roads, the military, education, police protection, mail service, etc., etc., etc. everybody wants something but we aren't willing to work together to get it. Congress quit stonewalling and make the decision that is right. Work together and quit politicizing.

The Giving Pledge

My mother's daughter

2010-10-30T16:22:00.001-06:00

I know I'm turning into my mother when I buy two bowls of candy. One chock full of the good stuff for the cute darlings who grace my door and another full of dum dums and smarties for the kids who are way too old to be trick-or -treating. I'm totally asking for my pumpkin to get smashed aren't I?

10-10-10

2010-10-10T16:44:00.002-06:00

Nothing really to write. Just lovin' the date.

Your Mailbox is Full

2010-10-03T19:52:00.000-06:00

I was really irritated the other day because I keep trying to call someone and I always get the message that their mailbox is full. I really need to talk to this person and I don't have any other way of getting a hold of her. I kept thinking seriously, empty your mailbox! So this morning when I go to check my messages I hear "your mailbox is full." Oops. I guess that's karma for you. Also, later I ran into her at the grocery store. Guess it all worked out.

Forced Unpaid Vacation

2010-09-13T15:57:00.000-06:00

So on this the first of five furlough days this is what I accomplished:

Long walk with Dudley and mom in the gully. No snakes spotted -- Thank heavens.
Planned my methods class for Tuesday
Set up Scholastic Book Clubs orders
Updated Blog
Organized guided reading groups
Printed off labels for online math access
Scheduled parent volunteers
Organized my roll book
Made a parent email list
Finished all my beginning of year assignments to turn in to my principal
Started to burn the primary CDs for the program

And it's only 4 pm

Next I'm off to work out with Lori and catch a class of water aerobics.

This has been an extremely productive no work/no pay day. I always knew I'd get so much done if it weren't for the kiddos.

I think I've earned a movie from Red Box tonight.

Off centered and bouncy

2010-09-11T20:02:00.000-06:00

Today while on a walk with Dudley, Gunner, and my mom, she commented on how cute the Dudster's tail is. Dudley's tail is long and curves up in a high arch. It is constantly going. You know Dudley is happy because he wags it -- hard. He wags it so hard it often bangs into things like metal garbage cans, walls, door frames, and the side of the bathtub. You'd think it would hurt and then he wouldn't be so happy, but it does not deter him. Anyway, mom said, "Dudley's tail is so cute. It's kind of off-center and bouncy -- Just like him." Yup, that's one way to describe him. Off centered and bouncy. Especially earlier that afternoon when he wrapped himself up in his leash so that his hind legs were tethered together. He looked like a rabbit hoping around in my mom's flowers. Crazy dog.

Sometimes it's just best to lie

2010-08-31T20:32:00.000-06:00

On the first day of class it's really not a good idea to tell me you'll be leaving early so you can attend the John Mayer concert. At least have the creativity to come up with some feasible excuse. It's also not a good idea to leave 2 hours before the concert begins. So infuriating.

In Love

2010-08-29T10:52:00.001-06:00

Be still my heart. When George Stephanopoulos announced he would be leaving This Week for Good Morning America I was devastated. Almost as much as when Alison Becker was replaced on VH1 Top 20 Countdown. But my heart started to beat slightly when it was announced that Christiane Amanpour would be new the host. This morning it was full on pitter pat when the topic was the Race to the Top and her guests included none other than Arne Duncan, Secretary of Education and Jamie Oliver, host of Food Revolution. She had me at, "Today we'll be discussing improving America's Education System." I've always been a one issue girl politically and when my favorite Sunday morning news highlights my one issue it's hard to stay miffed. Now I'll be late for church, but I'll still be wondering about performance pay, and what I can do personally for my school. I'll also be googling Finland to check out what they've got going on -- my guess, small class sizes, quality early childhood education, arts instruction by qualified individuals, and a system for dealing with misbehaviors in the classroom. Oh yeah, and parent involvement accompanied with respect for education. Not just respect for educators, but truly people who see education as a step up. This is something we are seriously lacking in America. If we're serious about improving education, we have to put our money where our mouth is and vote for politicians who will do it. Take that Jeb Bush -- class size doesn't matter? Try and teach 25 2nd graders how to play a 15 minute math game by yourself in 100 degree temperatures at 2:00p.m., while an autistic child makes bird calls in the background and tell me that class size doesn't matter. Go ahead, tell me.

First week -- a recap.

2010-08-27T06:26:00.000-06:00

So many events. So many weeks to go. Here are some highlights, low lights, and lessons learned.

T. -- Wow, you have some big muscles. Me -- Yeah, that's what those are, muscles.
If you feel the need to punch someone, don't choose the only kid in 2nd grade who's had boxing lessons.
If you open four 100 calorie packs and put them in a bowl you've just eaten 400 calories.
Four magic words -- Put Your Head Down.
2nd graders view rest time much differently than their teacher.
Even if you promise yourself that you won't open your copy of Mockingjay until your syllabus is printed, just plan on some seriously late nights.
Staying up past 1am does not a happy teacher make.
If you wake up 10 minutes before your alarm, no matter how hard you try, you'll never get those sleep minutes back.
Even though frosting is not refrigerated in the store, keeping it on your unairconditioned back counter might change the consistency a little.
So glad it's Friday.

More Advice

2010-08-24T16:23:00.002-06:00

Your sweaty brastrap doesn't work either -- moral: wear pockets.

Advice

2010-08-24T06:21:00.000-06:00

Even though the women's restroom is three long hallways away from your classroom, and you don't have any pockets in your skirt, it is still not a good idea to hide your tampon in your lunch bag, along with your yogurt and your blue ice pack -- just sayin'.

2010-08-22T16:03:00.001-06:00

Sick to my stomach. Vomiting profusely. Massive headache. Must mean one thing. School starts tomorrow.

2010-08-17T19:02:00.002-06:00

My heart is hurting right now. A friend's 8 year old son passed away. Life is short. Things get busy, people move, and it is harder to stay in touch. I need to make more of an effort. Sending all my love to her and her family.

Quotes from the pulpit....

2010-08-15T21:36:00.005-06:00

"You know Jim Morrison? He was the lead singer of the Doors."
"It's important to eat your food storage. If you have a 50 gallon barrel of wheat in the basement and only eat it during an emergency you'll be worse off than a rattlesnake in a wagon rut."
"Make sure you have a safe room because who knows what might float over from Tooele."
"You have to be prepared for everything -- tsunamis, floods, volcanoes."
"If Yellowstone blows we're all goners."
"Goats are dumb and sheep are even stupider."
"Bread and toilet paper. They're the staples of life. You take from that what you want."

You know when the stake president is on the stand to visit and the speaker starts out his talk quoting a song from the Doors it's gonna mean one thing -- Best high council talk EVER!

The Library

2010-08-14T21:01:00.000-06:00

Today as I was exiting the library I was stopped by the XXXX family and their 6 children, 5 of whom I have taught, and I'll probably get the 6th but he's only in kindergarten. Sadly, I was not carrying a copy of the book I've had on hold all summer, The Death and Life of the American School System: How Testing and Choice are Undermining Education. No, I had in my hot little hands the DVD Whip It. It better be worth it.

Doug Wright

2010-08-08T16:27:00.007-06:00

If Doug Wright continues to be a voice of reason on the immigration issue I just might have to become a fan. I have my radio alarm set to KSL because it is one thing that will propel me out of bed faster than anything else. I usually can't stand to listen to it, but I've actually had a few late mornings because I've wanted to tune in to the discussion. It boggles my mind how some people can be so intolerant of others. I understand a need for immigration reform, but it also must be done in a compassionate and tolerant way. Just because we were blessed to born into this country does not make us better than anyone else -- undocumented or not. So here's to Doug Wright for having the courage to speak up, and from the comments made on his show, basically offend a good majority of his base. His opinions on the Movie Show however, still give me the shivers.

Off Balance

2010-08-08T16:27:00.004-06:00

This is my life. A couple months of some seriously slow moments where I have all the time in the world. Then, come August, it is crazy. School starts, the U starts, primary is crazy busy, and I'm trying to work in some major healthy lifestyle changes. Staying busy is good for me, but I wish I could find a happy medium. My word for the year has got to be balance. Right now it is more of a teeter toter/roller coaster.

Drive In

2010-07-31T14:58:00.003-06:00

So in our never ending quest to do something new and exciting Amie and I decided we'd venture out of our comfortable reserved seating air conditioned movie theater stand by and try our luck at The Redwood Drive In. I can't remember the last time I went to the drive in -- probably in high school, possibly singles ward days but neither of us were completely sure about what to expect so we each did a quick google search and discovered a few things.

They only take cash -- good to know.
Your car radio will not drain your battery as long as you don't leave your car in the on position. But, they do have complementary battery chargers there if you do need a jump.
It's a good idea to bring camp chairs and a blanket.
A police officer is always on site should any shenanigans occur.

So we geared up for our adventure and arrived 40 minutes early, enough time to find a good spot, scope out the restrooms, and realize that we really didn't fit in with a good portion of the crowd. Our shirts had sleeves, we didn't have tattoos, and as far as I know we both have all our teeth. (Maybe a slight generalization but there seemed to be a serious lack of fabric) We located the empty police car and relished in the fact that we got to bring in our own snacks. It was a nice night. Definitely not cold but every now and again a slight breeze made it really nice and helped disperse some of the nicotine clouds that periodically hovered over our car. Amie brought bug spray which was a good idea. Next time we go we might do a few things differently.

Bring something to prop our feet up -- ottoman style.
Bring some ear buds just in case the movie next to you is a little too loud.
Park more in the center of the screen. We were close to the end and it was a little distracting.
Be prepared to be blinded by cars that suddenly turn on their lights and drive away while the movie is going.
Prepare for a long line at the women's restroom. Bring a toiletry bag complete with door closer, extra TP, and hand sanitizer because not only was there a line at the potty, but then you had to get in line to wash up at the two sinks available.

Would I do it again? Definitely, it was a fun night, I didn't feel bad at all about seeing two mediocre movies for $7, tons of people watching, and only a little second hand smoke. Great summer time fun.

Happy 24th!

2010-07-24T18:33:00.002-06:00

Celebrating Pioneer Day with some sushi and soccer. Should be a fun night. Went to the parade this morning, Olive Garden for lunch, and saw Ramona and Beezus at the theater. Busy, busy, day.

Inception

2010-07-19T22:32:00.000-06:00

WOW. Lots of questions, but Wow.

Too sweet

2010-07-17T19:12:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I left a bag of powdered sugar out on the counter. What followed were several moments of hand wringing and belly rubbing. I should have realized something was wrong when Dudley went missing for more than a half hour. So unusual for him. He doesn't respect personal space with anyone and certainly not with me. He was keeping me company while I watched Shutter Island. Melanie promised me it wasn't scary so I was giving it a try. I guess it was too scary for the Dudster though because he got up and walked away. While I sipped my fruit smoothie sweetened with 1 tsp of powdered sugar and tried not to be afraid of the show, I realized it was too quiet and decided to investigate. What I found was an empty bag which had been licked so clean it looked like Saran Wrap and a dog with a few patches of powdered sugar paste stuck to his collar and the tips of his whiskers.

Fast forward an hour and I had one sick puppy. I felt so helpless. I couldn't even get mad at him for throwing up all over the rug in three different places. He looked so miserable. I finally took him outside and sat in the backyard with his water bowl and just rubbed his belly. I thought about loading him into my car and taking him to the after hours animal hospital but then I figured if I ate an entire bag of powdered sugar I'd probably be throwing up everywhere too. We came inside at about 11 and he slept through the night like a trooper. I did set my alarm to wake us up every couple of hours so I could take him outside, but he seemed to rebound.

This morning he was back to his usual self jumping at the door and banging his tail into everything. Poor puppy. No more sweetened drinks for me. I couldn't even if I wanted to. I'm out of powdered sugar.

Pop Princess

2010-07-10T13:29:00.004-06:00

My new cardio mix includes songs by Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga. I think I've sold out. I can't help it. I love to sing along to Party in the USA and if I even hear three notes of a Gaga song it's in my head for the rest of the day. Technically, I burned the Glee cast version of Bad Romance but I know I'm walking a fine line. I even feel guilty about the songs from the World Cup. I LOVE THEM! But, I'm not a huge soccer fan so I feel like I jumped on the World Cup bandwagon like every other American. To top it off there are three Beyonce' songs. Halo couldn't even be considered a workout song, but I'm justifying the inclusion by using it for my cool down. I'll just have to embrace my inner Sasha Fierce. Goodbye Smiths, goodbye Violent Fems, Goodbye Velvet Underground...I am officially a sellout.

Lighten Up

2010-03-30T20:32:00.003-06:00

So, it's been awhile -- I've been busy. For those of you familiar with Fox 13 News you may have already seen it. For those of you who are not -- well, it's been an adventure. I'll be "Lightening Up" with Big Budah. So if you'd like to track my weight feel free to tune in. If you'd like to follow my blog on their website, here's the link. http://community.fox13now.com/view/displayManageBlog.kickAction?as=96363 If you'd like to watch the video clips it's easiest to select Good Day Utah then video then Big Budah. Oh my. What have I done?

Movie Math

2010-01-06T18:10:00.002-07:00

I have a class to prepare for tonight so naturally I thought now would be a great time to make my top ten list. I used a careful scientific procedure to determine my tops and bottoms. First, I checked online to find all the movies that were released in 2009. Then I highlighted the ones I saw and put a star, left it blank, or a down arrow. Following that process there was a clear bottom ten but I had to go through and give double stars to my favorites so I could narrow down my top ten.

In 2009 I saw 59 movies. I averaged a little more than a movie a week. (I think Christmas break helped me boost the average.) Of the 59 movies 22 were targeted towards kids/tweens. (No, New Moon did not make the list.) The remaining 37 movies had nearly a 1:1 ratio. For every favorable movie I watched there was one that was unfavorable or so-so. The same ratio appeared when I analyzed the kid flicks. Overall, I'd say I enjoyed 2009's year in film. So here goes the list:

2009 Best Films

The Blind Side
(500) Days of Summer
Away We Go
Capitalism: A Love Story
The Proposal
Julie & Julia
State of Play
Sherlock Holmes
Star Trek
Invictus/End Game (Technically, two movies but they are both set in South Africa so I figured I could group them together.)

Honorable mentions go to: Up in the Air, Avatar, and He's Just Not that Into You. I figured if I write them small I can get away with adding them. Renumbering the list to a top 13 just doesn't sound right.

2009 Worst Films

The Invention of Lying
The Ugly Truth
Public Enemies
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Ghosts of Girlfriends Pasts
Obsessed
Push
Duplicity
Taking of Pelham 123
The Soloist

2009 Best Kid/Tween films

Up
Where the Wild Things Are
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
The Princess and the Frog
Monsters V. Aliens
Shorts
Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Ponyo
Race to Witch Mountain
Hannah Montana the Movie (I really liked the little dance song.)

2009 Worst Kid/Tween movies

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Land of the Lost
Coraline (This movie was freaky and a lot scary)
G-Force (I have an unhealthy relationship with guinea pigs. There are about 15 buried in my mom's back yard)
Imagine That (Technically, I didn't see this movie but I "bought" it from Red Box because I forgot I checked it out and stuck it in my DVD player, so 25 days and dollars later I decide maybe I'll watch it and sure enough -- nothin. Blank DVD. So it makes my worst list by default.)

So there you have it. I didn't see any of the lame raunchy comedies that seem to be all the rage but still make critics' top tens. I like mainstream but I'm not afraid of mainstream/indie. I absolutely HATE horror or scary movies. I do not like to be scared. When I am I do stupid things. That's how I got Dudley.

Here are a few movies that were released in 2009 that I didn't see but want to:

Bright Star

The Boys are Back

Whip It!

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Adam

Food Inc.

and Dance Flick (I'm a sucker for a good parody.)

Something's Wrong With This Picture

2009-12-26T09:54:00.003-07:00

I guess Christmas was a little more difficult than I thought. All I remember is sitting down to watch Santa Baby 2 on Lifetime or Hallmark or whichever channel I watch and waking up to this. Bummer. Have you tried the peppermint kind? Little burst of yummy peppermint heaven. Maybe I can whip it up in my magic bullet? Right now I have peppermint soup.

Note to self

2009-12-22T19:41:00.002-07:00

If a recipe calls for frozen rhodes rolls, pop and serve biscuits are not an equivalent substitution.

Butterscotch bubble bread is now raw, doughy mess.

Also, if it calls for a bundt pan, a loaf pan probably isn't a good idea either.

Hip Hop Dog

2009-12-12T21:55:00.002-07:00

So you don't have to look at the contents of my purse anymore. Blame Kiley.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Problem

2009-10-05T19:37:00.002-06:00

I have a problem. My purse is messy. Seriously messy. So messy that when my phone rings it often goes to voice mail before I can find it. Within the last week and a half I have had my purse dumped out upside down twice. The first time was at the Conference Center. I was not happy. I knew they were going to search my purse but seriously this was like a cavity search for purses. The second time I was with my mom and I heard a distant ring. I thought it was my phone. I looked and looked for it but I couldn't find it. My mom was with me so she looked and looked for it too. My mom ended up dumping the whole thing out in the front seat of the car. I still couldn't find my phone. It turned out my purse was so messy it jumped out and went under the seat. I took this as a sign. It was time to clean out my purse. So forty-five minutes ago I told myself that before I could go to Target and buy that shoe rack I want, I must clean out my purse. What I found was slightly embarrassing so when I'm embarrassed I like to write about it and post it to the internet. Here are some of the contents. You might like to play along Eye Spy style.

A toothbrush
Important receipts for school
13 Post it note lists
Flex spending letter that should have been mailed last month
Missing ID tag
Computer cord for projector
Sucker
Two tampons
$437 dollars in cash and checks (what? Who has $437 in their purse?)
Another purse
punch cards from every place that gives out punch cards (most with only one punch)
two ticket stubs
47 assorted pens and pencils

Yup, I'd say I have a problem.

Anyway, I think I've earned a trip to Target and with $437 I think I can buy a pair of shoes to go with that rack.

CCRs

2009-09-10T21:40:00.003-06:00

I'm pretty sure the person growing corn in their front yard is violating a rule in the CC&Rs. Oh the joys of living in a planned community -- Only a few more days. Let the packing begin!

Fan of Fans

2009-09-05T13:21:00.006-06:00

I cannot stand to be hot. For the past four weeks I have complained about how hot it is in my school no less than 23 times a day. It's so hot! Sweaty gross hot. Back to School Night almost did me in. To teach all day in a hot, sticky room and then try to look presentable in front of parents was near impossible. In fact I might have mentioned a few of the school board members' telephone numbers during my presentation. (I really didn't in case my boss ever reads this -- but boy did I want to.) My thought is you can always put on a sweater, but you can only take so many things off. Believe it or not this year is not the worst year when it comes to temperature. My first year at my current school Utah had a record hot May. More 100 degree tempertures recorded in a month than ever before. That was also the year that my air conditioner thought it was an F-16, or at least it did an incredibly realistic impression of one, and then upon discovering that it was securely fastened to the concrete and would never realize its dream to soar high above the clouds, it gave up its will to cool and died. Two long years of sweltering heat followed, school then home, then school, then home. Until I finally saved enough money to buy the biggest, baddest, "coolest" central air unit on the block. My neighbors had air conditioner envy. It is a beautiful machine. It will be hard to say goodbye when I move later this month but the new place still has central air so I'm good to go.

During those years without air conditioning, the only thing that helped me make it through those long hot nights was this:

The biggest ugliest ceiling fan ever made. It came with the house. One night it actually came detached from the ceiling and was dangling by the electrical wiring. Thankfully Mark rushed over and secured it to the ceiling again, but the image of those brown wicker blades spinning out of control scarred me for life. As luck would have it exactly one week ago I broke it. I pulled too hard on the chain and oops, there it goes. I have been living with this thing for close to nine years and I break it one month before I move. Grrr. So I dragged Melanie to Home Depot and she helped me pick out the cheapest new ceiling fan I could find.

I actually have a lot of experience with fans. They are positioned strategically around my classroom in an effort to keep the lil' ones cool and calm. The first day everyone also makes their personal fans to keep in their desks at all time.Notice the cute crayon sorter tucked in the shelf.

Sometimes I turn this fan on the students and sometimes I just face it right on me. It depends on how generous I'm feeling.
After one week in the classroom my student teacher came with two more fans. They don't stand upright but if I'm going to plug them into an extension cord and drape it across the table anyway so what if I tip it on a chair. I know the fire inspector would not approve.
Finally, here is the newly installed ceiling fan, complete with energy efficient light bulbs.This isn't a fan, but Adam likes to refer to it as "The Stool of Shame" I keep telling him that's not where misbehaving students sit. I sit there when I read a chapter from our novel after lunch while the kids fan themselves, guzzle water, and can't hear a thing because we have four fans going in the classroom.

Next week they are forecasting temperatures in the 80s. That better be the truth or a certain weather forecaster might be getting a threatening telephone call.

To do lists

2009-08-30T10:45:00.007-06:00

I'm a list maker. I love to organize what I have to do and then cross it off when I've accomplished it. I count myself among the group of people who add already completed projects to our lists just so we can cross them off as complete. I find a considerable amount of joy in visually realizing that I have been productive. As I prepped for the start of school my list was long so I wrote it on my white board. It stayed up all week. Ashley made the mistake of erasing "sunflower bulletin board" after she finished stapling the bright yellow sunflowers with green ribbon stems used to frame each child's face on the board. I made her rewrite it and then draw a line through it. Each night I would meticulously transfer the items I could do at home to a Post It. When I finished the item at home I not only got to cross it off the Post It, I also got to come in the next morning and cross it off the board. Lists are great because they give a sense of urgency to tasks. I can prioritize what is important and I can stay on top of what I need to get done.

As I've prepped for the beginning of school one list has grown to an almost unbearable size. It's looming over me screaming for attention -- unfortunately, I just don't have a lot of time right now. This to do list grows daily and I haven't been able to remove a single thing. Just when I think I'm going to get to it a senator/celebrity dies, a kidnap victim is found, or fires rage somewhere and my addiction to television news becomes the top priority.

Of all the lists I've ever compiled I find immense amounts of joy and satisfaction in working my way through my DVR list. With the touch of a button I can see a list of all my favorite shows waiting to be viewed when it is convenient for me and without having to sit through commercials. I figure for every hour long television program I save myself 15 minutes by viewing it on the DVR and if it's cable or a reality show I can sometimes save myself 30 minutes by fast forwarding through all the rehashing mini updates they show immediately upon return from the commercial break.

Let me make this clear. I LOVE the list feature on my DVR. Yet, this list is growing out of control. It's becoming a bit of a monster and I don't think it is healthy for me to be feeling pressure from my television. At some point this summer I must have thought it would be a good idea to record a few programs to have on hand during the summer hiatus. I like having something on in the background and while I will settle for an infomercial about the Magic Bullet I prefer to watch/listen to something I might enjoy. So I set up my season pass to record shows like Cold Case, The Colony, Masterpiece Mystery, and I'm embarrassed to admit just about every Lifetime television movie ever made. I recorded them just in case I might like them. I can't think of a single Lifetime movie that I have fallen in love with but I continue to watch/record them over and over again. I take it back -- I did really like the one called Why I Wore Lipstick to my Mastectomy, but I think it's because Sarah Chalke was in it and I love her, but generally these movies are low budget, made in Canada, not even remotely entertaining train wrecks so why do I continue to put them on my list? I've got movies I've never even heard of and trust me if I didn't see it in the theater when it came out I really don't want to see it on television.

I don't understand my reasoning here. I don't really like any of these shows so why do I feel this pressure to watch them before I can delete them off my list? Now shows that I do like are starting up again and I need to make room. It would be tragic if I missed an episode of Top Chef Las Vegas or Project Runway because my machine wanted to record an episode of Kings. And don't even get me started on HGTV. I had blocked this channel from my guide until I decided to put my house on the market earlier this summer and now I am addicted. Canadians haven't mastered the art of the television movie but they sure have the market down on home improvement/repair. They kick TLC's trash. I am addicted to Design Star, which made me addicted to Divine Design, and if you know House Hunters then House Hunters International is only going to be like twelve times more amazing.

So, I think I'm going to do it. I'm going to delete my entire DVR list and start fresh. I can't handle the pressure. The hours and hours and hours it would take for me to watch all of these shows are hours that only existed that one semester when I was in college skipping physics, taking beginning guitar, and knitting. As a productive member of society I am going to have to push that delete button because let's face it the new fall TV season is here.

I'm going to delete everything, except for Masterpiece the complete Jane Austen because the BBC Collin Firth Pride and Prejudice is exquisite and you never now when you might want to watch Mansfield Park.

Back to School

2009-08-19T21:01:00.003-06:00

I think I may have outsmarted Walmart this year. Their Crayola crayons are still 25¢ a box. I got all of mine for 20¢ at Kmart. I also held off and didn't pay 15¢ each for their 3-pronged folders. I paid 5¢ each at Smith's Marketplace. I didn't even walk into Shopko this year -- boo for limits. I mean really, who only buys 6 pencil boxes? I need 30.

So, this year I shopped around. I got some great deals. But then I realized school starts tomorrow, so I ran to Walmart and spent $235.67 on the rest of the supplies I need. Who can bargain shop when you're on a deadline? I figured I'm stimulating the economy, so then I went to Lakeshore and bought a $20.00 crayon sorter. Yes, I already have a box for lost crayons, but who can stand to put a lost crayon in a lame box when you can sort it into a corresponding color can from Lakeshore? I used a coupon.

TMI

2009-08-01T19:20:00.002-06:00

I thought that I would blog about the dream I had the other day -- The one where I went to Walmart at 3:00 a.m. and purchased T.P., tampons, a 16 oz. bag of chocolate chips, and an aluminum baseball bat -- but I thought that might be a little too revealing.

Independent dog

2009-07-19T18:08:00.004-06:00

Dudley celebrates his own independence day by being forced to dress in a neckerchief bedecked with stars and trotted around the neighborhood on a short bungee leash.

This is Miles and me reenacting the moment Dudley decided to have a bite of his licorice. Miles' next piece was shoved swiftly into his mouth using both fists to protect the end from potential licorice nabbing. Tomorrow I get to spend the entire day with this cute guy.

All By Myself

2009-07-11T23:57:00.003-06:00

Amie and I went to the Bees game on the 4th of July and stayed all 12 innings to enjoy the fireworks show which was scheduled for after the game. It was actually quite fun and it didn't matter that the Bees lost because really by then it was 11:30pm and all I wanted was to see some fireworks.

But, something happened at the game that has been bugging me. It bugged me the instant it happened and still more than a week later it flits into my head and I start dreaming up all these scenarios where things work out differently or I come to terms with the unnaturalness of it all and it has really caused me to pause and evaluate my life.

So, we have great seats, almost behind home plate protected by the giant net that should deflect any errant or foul balls. We are chatting away hoping that the people to the left and right of us don't arrive on time or at all so we can spread out and avoid any awkward personal contact with a stranger. We breathed a sigh of relief when the family we thought was headed for our row sat directly in front of us and then it happened -- this perfectly normal looking guy, not weird or strange or greasy in anyway files in behind the family and takes a seat. We immediately check him out because that's what single girls do and wistfully sigh because he is surely holding a seat while he waits for his wife, or his girlfriend, or his partner, or whoever, but s/he never comes. Instead, another family comes forcing him to scoot over and take his true seat wedged between two Utah families at a baseball game. Here it is -- this guy bought a single ticket and came to a very crowded game on the Fourth of July -- ALONE--ALL BY HIMSELF--FLYING SOLO.

Does that weird anyone else out? I was so shocked by the whole thing I could hardly concentrate on the game. Who does that? Clearly, he had to be from out of town and he decided to enjoy the local triple A team. He actually did seem to be enjoying it. He stood up with the rest of us and cheered loudly when the Tacoma Raineers' manager stomped out onto the field, argued with the umpire, threw his hat to the ground and got ejected. He even took out his camera phone and took a few pics. (He probably posted them to his Facebook account while we were sitting there.) It disturbed me so much that he was there by himself that I had to create this elaborate life for him. He was away traveling on a holiday and he decided he didn't want to be alone in his hotel room so he purchased a single ticket from one of those guys holding up the "I need a ticket sign" (I used to think...if you need a ticket why don't you just go and buy one at the ticket office?...until I realized oh, they're really selling tickets to people who don't want to sit in the nose bleed seats or seats that might give you a nose bleed because you get hit in the face with a foul ball.) This single, all by himself mystery man, of course took Trax from his hotel room so he wouldn't get lost and the reason he left before the fireworks was because he had to catch an early flight and he didn't want to be out too late, but he totally would have stayed for the show if that Raineer hadn't tied it up in the ninth inning prolonging the end of the game.

Does this weird anyone else out? Is it okay to do things like go to a baseball game alone? Would you do it?

Now I am single so I do have to do quite a few things on my own, by myself, or else I wouldn't get anything done. But there are definitely all by myself situations and then there are wouldn't be caught dead doing it all by myself situations.

Shopping for groceries -- alone.

Shopping for clothes -- alone.

Shopping for books -- alone.

Shopping for a car -- most definitely not alone. I need a voice of reason along with me.

Going to the ladies room -- alone.

Going to the library -- alone.

Going to the doctor -- alone.

Going to the movies -- most definitely not alone. I did go to the movies by myself back when I taught at a year-round school and was off track for three weeks at a time during weird times of the year and I hadn't yet discovered the miracle that is DVR, but given a choice I wouldn't do it again. It's just not very fun.

Going to a restaurant -- not alone.

Going through the drive through -- alone.

Going to water aerobics -- alone.

Going to the pool -- not alone.

Picking out a new sofa -- not alone.

Picking my nose -- please, please be alone.

Walking around the neighborhood -- alone.

Walking the Jordan River Trail -- not alone. I used to do this alone until one day I was walking and a homeless man literally jumps onto the trail in front of me and says I'm pretty. Normally, that would be flattering, but when I am most decidedly not looking pretty and the complement is coming from someone who is missing all of his front teeth it is a little scary. I sped on past him and then for the rest of the trail all I could think was "I am all alone." Shortly after that experience I procured the Dudster to shake that "you are all alone" feeling.

Anyway, I just want to know what it was that this guy had that made it so he could go to this baseball game by himself. I'm oddly in awe of the gumption, or confidence, or whatever it was that made it possible for him to accomplish this feat. I nearly broke my very strict rule of not drawing attention to myself in public places by leaning over and actually asking him where he came from and what he was doing there but if I did that I might as well just go ahead and order the sizzling fajitas the next time I go to Chili's. Like that is going to happen. He might have even answered that he was from Sugarhouse and he just really likes the Bees, or that he has a crush on the first baseman. Oh, now that would have been good. Curses social anxiety and other public neurosis! Why must I suffer so?

Self Fulfilling Prophecy

2009-07-02T09:18:00.003-06:00

You believe it -- You become it.

I love exercise. I love exercise. I love exercise.

Hmmm....Maybe the more I say it the more I'll believe, then maybe I'll work on becoming it.

I know I like it a lot better when I get to listen to the new Greenday album. No Greenday unless I'm exercising.

Lock me up

2009-06-30T19:37:00.002-06:00

It's only been one day and I've already broken several rules. I have no resolve. First, I checked facebook about 4 or 8 times today. I have not left the house, although I did look out the window. I have been playing word twist for the last three hours. It's like Boggle. After each game you see a nice bell curve and you get your rating -- very low, low, average, high, very high. For the first hour I rated VERY LOW on every turn. This was a little upsetting. So then I spent the next hour trying to break into the low range. I'm getting there about every third game. Now I am just playing trying to come out average. This is killing me. I can't rate very low on a word game -- a word game, seriously?

Hiatus over

2009-06-29T09:28:00.005-06:00

So I took a little break. When I started this blog last July I knew that it would be hard to keep it going once I got swamped with school. I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did. I guess I got mucked down right about March/April and I haven't really emerged until this week. So much has happened, funny, sad, embarrassing. I don't know that I'll update everything but since this is my journal I might go back and add a few events. I just needed to take that first step and get it over with.

One of my friends has a theory about why weight loss is so hard for women. I think it applies to my blogging. It's because we tend to be perfectionists. All or nothing. We beat ourselves up if we make a mistake. We say mean things to ourselves and sometimes punish ourselves by repeating the undesired behavior. If we can't be perfect at what we are doing we don't do it. Men on the other hand are okay not being quite so perfect. They make a mistake they shrug their shoulders and get over it, then start again the next day. I think she's really onto something. I was looking at my blog just like I look at weight. All or nothing. Even though I enjoy it if I didn't have time to devote myself entirely I didn't do it and even if I did have time, I didn't have any time to catch up with everything I wanted to blog about so again, I didn't do it. Those days are over. School is out, math classes are done. I don't start a new class until August so I have some free time. This demands that I also need to set some parameters so that I don't become overly obsessed -- The other side of the all or nothing spectrum. If I'm in I'm really in so, since I have a little more free time this month I have decided I can only check my blog/email/facebook page twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening. I will not become addicted to any games -- flibricks, gems, dots, solitaire, word scrapper, or any other that tend to suck all of my time and exacerbate my self-diagnosed carpal tunnel syndro

me. I can only spend an hour a week on iTunes. I must speak to one human being every day. I must leave the house at least once every day. For now these are the rules I must abide by. I usually make some sort of television viewing rule, but I am so backed up on all my shows that it hasn't been a problem as of yet. I might need a few days of intense viewing to catch up -- next time it rains.

Speaking of rain Amie and I saw the most AMAZING double rainbow coming out of the movies this weekend. It was a full arch and the light was hitting it so

you could see the full spectrum of color. I tried to get a picture of the entire arch but my lense wasn't wide enough. It really was beautiful.

Tomato Carnage

2009-04-19T23:32:00.002-06:00

I thought I was being super healthy this Saturday when I used a coupon to buy not one but two big bottles of V-8 juice, the low sodium variety. I also thought I was Miss Muscles and decided to layer all the plastic bags and the 12 pack of toilet paper so I could bring everything into the house in one trip. I guess the 20 extra steps I would have had to take to do it in two trips was more than I could bare. Well, I was opening my sliding door when one of the bottles of V-8 slipped out of the bag and hit the edge of the stairs in just the right way that sent blood-like juice splattering all over the patio, the grocery bags, and my legs. Thankfully, it's warm enough now that I was able to reattach the house and spray off the patio. I would have included a picture but then my blog might get an M rating for mature audiences only. Let's just say it was pretty gruesome. While I'm on the subject of gross, I found one of Dudley's claws on the stairs. Yup, it just popped off. At first I couldn't figure out what it was, but after realizing it was one of his nails I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Yuck. V-8 anyone?

Community Ed.

2009-04-11T10:59:00.002-06:00

I just received my Spring Granite Peaks catalog in the mail. Oh goodie. Hidden amongst all the computer and language classes you can always find a few gems like:

Boomer Belly Dance

"...aerobic activity perfectly suited to Baby Boomers looking for a new, fun exercise! If you're tired of going to high-priced gyms and exercising, surrounded by 20-year olds..." then by all means sign up for a class where overweight 50 year olds can flash their jiggly bellies. No thank you.

All the single ladies out there are going to want to check this class out -- It's surefire man bait.

Medieval Swordsmanship

"Study the historical European martial art of swordsmanship. Start with the beginnings of sword, dagger, and grappling techniques ....Contact sparring and close quarters grappling is expected. Wear well fitted gym clothing -- no shorts please."

The guys that played Dungeons and Dragons in high school now have an outlet where they can dress up in tight gym clothes and re-enact fight scenes from Middle Earth.

What the heck is an angel gathering? No really...

What the Heck is an Angel Gathering?

This is a free class so if your pinching your pennies it may be the one for you. " An introduction to the Angel Gatherings based on the teachings of Archangel Michael...find your color (to be used in the sacred geometry), ask questions, get on waiting list for an upcoming gathering."

and finally,

Fear of Money

"Are you allergic to money?" Then come spend $35 dollars so you can learn to clear away blocks with the use of kinesiology ad empower yourself to attract money.

Seriously, who signs up for these classes? You've got to love community ed.

Some other offerings:

Ghostbusters

Owl Viewing

Beginning Bridge

and

Whodunit?

"Do you have what it takes to solve the case? If you've dreamed of becoming a Sherlock Holmes or Gill Grissom, here's your chance. Collect evidence, conduct interviews and see if you can figure out who the guilty person is. You must be eighteen years or older to take this class." I can't really mock this one because it could be kind of fun. Maybe like a real life game of Clue, but it could also be creepy and gross. Why do you have to be 18? And what cases are these people trying to solve?

Dudley Update

2009-04-04T09:30:00.006-06:00

It's time for a Dudley update. So, the other day I got home from work and made my daily climb up a very steep staircase. Dudley had greeted me at the back door like he always does by jumping up and giving me what I like to call a "Dudley hug". This usually consists of a two-paw embrace while jumping on his hind legs, claws out, and slobbering. One day he is going to jump up while I'm leaning down and my next post will be about how Dudley broke my nose, but I digress. As soon as I dropped everything off at the table and went to check messages on the phone and the contents of my refrigerator, he bolted upstairs. This is highly unusual and should have been my first warning sign. But as I was enjoying some peace and quiet Dudley was quite busy. It dawned on me when I got the the third or fourth step that something was not right. Dudley was laying at the top of the stairs gnawing on something. Oh no. It couldn't be my glasses because I was wearing them. He didn't find that brand new box of tampons I just bought, did he? No, those are locked up in the closet. (I'm not going to make that mistake again.) What could it be? I haven't had sofa pillows since his arrival. (Note: covering your couch in aluminum foil each day when you leave for work, does not deter a determined puppy from getting to those fluff-filled pods of wonderment. I foolishly believed the dog trainer when he said the the crunching foil noise would scare him and Dudley would never want to 1 - eat my pillows or 2 - lay on the couch. All the diligent foil wrapping got me was ridicule from my dad who stopped by one day after golf and tired legs from standing.) No, at the top of the stairs was this:
Photo reenactment -- there was no way I had the presence of mind to capture this on film.

Four crumpled wads of wet, gooey, dollar bills. Wait, what did I see in the corner of his mouth? Still one more? And thus began the adventure of me trying to pry Dudley's jaws open while I retrieved my dollar In these hard economic times I was not going to let it "go to waste". I apologize...I'm an avid Cake Wrecks reader and she is seriously punny. I can't help it. Anyway, I knew getting a dog was going to be an investment but I didn't think he'd actually resort to literally eating my money. He had to search it out. It wasn't as if I leave money on my bedside table like I do my water bottles (his third favorite treat, next to peanut butter and cheese).

The dollars were in a pocket, in a laundry basket, in my closet. he didn't even bother to take the pants out of the dirty clothes, he just rooted around in the basket and helped himself to the contents of my pocket without disturbing anything else. He'd tell you it was my fault for leaving the closet door open. That, or Dudley has somehow miraculously learned how to open louvered doors. This might actually be a possibility because a few mornings later I awoke to a strong fish smell. I had made a tuna sandwich for dinner the night before, but I know I tossed the can into the trash in my "garbage closet" and I never leave that door open. Well, this is what I found:

This image actually lends support to Amie's pet name for the Dudster. She likes to refer to him as Montecor. Montecor gained fame after ending the legendary Vegas run of Seigfried and Roy following an unfortunate mauling incident. I think Amie lives in fear of coming over for a friendly visit and leaving to spend the next two months under heavy sedation after having to undergo a face transplant, (Yeah, I'm talking about crazy women who let her pet chimpanzee eat her friend's face.) While I have yet to be mauled, those Dudley hugs I'm so fond of do tend to get a little aggressive. So I will continue to throw money at him in my efforts to tame this savage beast. The last stupid purchase I made was for the Pedi-paws during our Black Friday shopping expedition. It was my fault for believing that Dudley would actually sit calmly while I lifted his nails into position and filed them down without incident. I mean really, you saw the tuna can. How delusional do I have to be?

For now, I think I'll just sit back and watch Marley and Me and relish in the fact that while the Dudster can be naughty, he barks at scary things in the dark, warms my toes when it's cold, and never jumps on me when I cry. So for now, I'll keep him around, unless he eats my glasses...again.

Week in Review

2009-03-29T18:06:00.004-06:00

Here are some highlights from my week. I'll make it fast because I'm afraid at any minute I might take a nap. Is it possible to develop a form of narcolepsy that only surfaces on weekends? It doesn't seem to matter what I'm doing but, today I can pretty much fall asleep anywhere doing anything. Sometimes I wake up after ten minutes, sometimes it's after two hours. I hope I can get to sleep tonight. Anyway, the wild weather we've been having has made for some nice visual aids to teach about my science weather unit. It's snowing one minute, raining the next, and bright and sunny the next. I don't know what to wear and neither do the kids. The biggest drawback was our fieldtrip to the Children's Theater had to be cut short. We couldn't eat our lunches in the park which meant picnic in the classroom, which meant one long afternoon for Miss. Garber. It was actually a fun day. (Great kid-friendly performance for parents looking for an outing.) I did get a new student that morning without notice so that keeps me on my toes. Note to parents out there. If you must enroll your child part-way through the school year be sure to give the school plenty of notice so that your child's teacher can make their arrival special. When I have notice I like to get a desk, a chair, a coat hook, and tote tray prepared and ready. Nothing says welcome to our classroom like a teacher sitting you at table because there isn't anywhere else for you to go, handing you a book you may or may not be able to read while she's trying to arrange for permission to go on the fieldtrip and notify the cafeteria that we need an extra lunch. Ugh. Nice kid, just think about these things people. The real highlights happened this weekend. I got to go to a movie with Amie, had lunch with college friends on Saturday afternoon -- we went to Noodles & Company. I don't have a regular menu item that I love there yet so I was able to go somewhat off-script and try something new. I may have found my favorite dish -- Pad Thai with shrimp. Yummy, yummy. It was delicious. Rice noodles, carrots, a little bit sweet. Saturday night I looked it up on Dotti's Weight Loss Zone to check out some of the healthier options and it fit perfectly. I also took Adam and Ashley to see Monsters vs. Aliens, but before that the whole family got together to celebrate my Grandpa Soulier's 90th birthday. It was awesome singing to him. He had a huge smile on his face and sang along with us. He is really amazing and I enjoyed spending the weekend writing a birthday letter to him. My mom copied a book of letters everyone wrote to him for his 80th birthday and his 84th birthday and gave it to all of the families. I stayed up last night well past midnight reading all the amazing thoughts about his life. Nearly everyone mentioned what an amazing teacher he was, what a snappy dresser he is, and how much he loves gardening, camping, and nature. He is an amazing person and I appreciate the opportunity I had to reflect on his life. I think I'll try and make this more of a habit. I'm not big on birthday cards but there is nothing like a personal letter. I can see how much they mean to him. My goal for myself is to be better about telling the people I care about how much I care about them. Okay, this was a weird post ramble, ramble, ramble. Next time I promise I'll blog about Walmart Bingo. Tha,t or American Idol -- I know Adam can sing, but on country week when he sang the Johnny Cash Burning Ring of Fire song, that was scary. Who knew Satan could be a contestant on a reality show? Did the producers have to put the fire graphics behind him? I liked the Elvis look alike much better.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2009-03-22T19:37:00.002-06:00

I can't believe how busy I've been for the last little while. I can trace it back to three things. First, I have been sick, sick, sick with a horrible, grab your children and run cough that never goes away. Second, I have class every Tuesday and Wednesday night. Finally, my student teacher left to complete her kindergarten assignment. I was happy to have my class back, but it sure was nice having an extra body to complete some of the routine tasks that can really add up when it's just one person trying to do it all. But, the good news is my cough finally seems to be winding down, after this Tuesday I'll only have class on Wednesday, and that will free up some time for me to catch up on school stuff. This weekend Amie and I headed down to BYU to watch the U gymnasts compete in their final meet of the season. They sure did awesome. Amie and I started going to the meets a couple of seasons ago when she got some free tickets. It was such a nice break from our regular weekend adventures we kept going and now I'm hooked. The meets are always interesting and fun to watch. Can't wait to see how they do at nationals.

Happy P-Day!

2009-02-16T06:00:00.001-07:00

Can someone please answer a question for me? Is it President's Day? Presidents' Day? or Presidents Day? Let's examine each scenario.

President's Day -- A day designated to honor the current president. The apostrophe indicating the president "owns" the day if you will.
Presidents' Day -- A day designated to honor all presidents. The apostrophe indicating the presidents "own" the day if you will.
Presidents Day -- A day designated to honor presidents but no ownership is indicated because really how do you own a day?

This has bothered me for a while now and I've seen it all three ways. Apparently I'm influenced by environmental print as much as the kids in my class are. I'm just glad it is a holiday. I really need a day to catch up.

(Artwork is courtesy of a student in my class. It was the cover of her final biography project on which she received an A. I think she was trying to draw Abraham Lincoln in profile and not as an alien, but I could be wrong because he has somehow been transported through time where he is able to address large crowds using a microphone, with some sort of tufted pink, green, and yellow, cushion as a chair. It doesn't matter. I just thought it was darn cute.)

Irrational Fears Rationalized

2009-02-14T11:28:00.005-07:00

I admit it. I am a fearful person. I get nervous and scared easily. Sometimes my response to fear is uncontrolled laughter and excessive chattiness. A slightly less pleasant response is sweaty eyebrows and pits. The third response is snot running down my face sobbing. For example, I do not like to sit next to strangers in a movie theatre. I can't stand it when it is crowded and as a result Amie and I have gone to excessive lengths to outsmart the computer when selecting our reserved tickets at LHM theaters (but that's another blog entry). This blog entry is designated to situations that have prompted the third response.

My biggest fear began at an early age and continues to this day. Snakes. I hate them. I vividly remember waking up in my top bunk bed screaming because a snake was in my bed. I was unable to move and just sat there crying until my dad came and ripped off the bedspread which revealed not a ball python, but a roll of masking tape. How a roll of masking tape made its way onto the top bunk? I'll never know, but that is when the fear really began to materialize. It didn't help matters when we would traipse through the gully on my way to school and encounter snakes sunning themselves on the path. One of the worst snake related memories came when I was in Mr. Allen's AP biology class as a sophomore at Alta. He had a giant python in the back of the room and having taken biology as a freshman I was able to witness two years worth of monthly "feedings." Sometimes rats, sometimes chickens, but the all-time worst was the white rabbit. Now I had never heard a bunny make a sound up until this point but upon being stalked, snared, and strangled, by the python the bunny let out a blood curdling scream that haunts me to this day. Think Hannibal Lechter, "Do you hear the lam

bs Clarice?" Shiver. Mr. Allen mercifully realized that this was not going to be good so he stuck his hand in the cage and stuck his thumb in the rabbit's eye to kill it instantly. I learned a lot that year in biology. My worst encounter with a snake came when I was walking in the foothills behind the U. with Sharon. We liked to take this trail above Red Butte Gardens and we were just about at the end of the loop which would bring us back home when a gigantic rattlesnake at least three inches around was coiled and shaking its rattler. I froze. So did Sharon. Eventually the snake uncoiled and slide off into the bushes but I couldn't unfreeze. I could not proceed across the path and despite being only a few minutes from home we had to turn around and take the loop back the other direction. It was terrifying. This fear is so rational it could sink its fangs into me.

A second fear I have is falling into deep holes. I would always avoid walking over manhole covers in the street or on sidewalks because it just creeped me out. I admitted that this fear was pretty irrational until one day while working as a nanny I was outside helping one of the kids learn to ride a bike. You know the drill. I was running behind holding onto the seat helping her to

balance when she got mad at me because I let go. The reason? I had unknowingly stepped on a manhole cover. The problem. The manhole cover wasn't sealed properly and my left leg went straight down into the hole skinning my shin on the way down. This resulted in another irrational fear becoming rationalized.

A third fear that I hope never becomes rationalized is nuclear winter. I think having grown up in the 70s/80s and having watched The Day After (The one where Steve Guttenberg is caught in a nuclear blast, loses all his hair, and must defend his family from a hungry hammer wielding radiation burned psycho) has made me a little overly sensitive. But I was in the movie theatre with some friends watching The Sum of All Fears and I started bawling when a nuclear bomb went off and radioactive snow started to fall. Yikes.

Finally, Amie alerted me to the fact that killer bees have made their way to Utah. My fear of killer bees began back in the day when they used to have Friday night fright night on channel 13, but then it moved to a Saturday matinee and they would show movies like Something Wicked this Way Comes, Carrie, The Towering Inferno, and The Swarm. So in the swarm this colony of killer bees surrounded people and they couldn't get away. If they tried to get in their car the bees would surround the vehicle, come in through the vents, and sting you dead. You couldn't run because they would swarm you. You couldn't hide. Your only hope was to jump in water but then they'd just hover over the water waiting to sting you when you came up for air so either you drowned or you got stung. I felt relatively safe knowing that killer bees did not live in Utah, but every now and again I'd hear reports that swarms were slowly moving north. I pretty much eliminated the possibility of every visiting Texas once I read a news report that they had be spotted there, so now I guess St. George is out too because some yahoo was keeping them as pets.

This entry has gone on way longer than expected. If you made it this far, I'm sorry for stealing precious moments of your life to reveal what clearly is a cry for help. My next google search will be to find a good psychiatrist who is on my medical plan. I'm sure they'll approve my visit. I'll just need to fax them a copy of this post.

Got any irrational fears? I'd love to hear them. Misery loves company -- or at least fraidy cats do.

Roses are red

2009-02-13T20:39:00.000-07:00

It was quite a surprise when the principal walked into my classroom during our valentines party followed by a man in a suit and a women carrying one dozen long stemmed beautiful red roses. My first thought -- there's been some sort of mistake. But actually, one of my students put my name in at Harmon's grocery store during our school PTA day and I was selected to receive the flowers. She wrote, "Miss Garber makes everything fun -- even math." I couldn't contain my excitement and I blurted out, "My first roses for Valentine's Day!" Then a sigh, "Actually, today is Friday the 13th." I've got to remember to edit my comments before I speak them out loud. But I was pretty excited and the roses are beautiful. Who cares if my first valentine roses come from an 8 year old.

The Grammys

2009-02-09T20:57:00.002-07:00

All due respect to Alison Krauss but Coldplay was robbed! I loved the Justin Timberlake duet at the end. I also loved the Chris Martin, Jay Z duet. Kid Rock rocked. Jennifer Hudson's song was touching, but one of my favorite moments was watching all these rappers sing along to Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline. So fun. On Saturday I went to brunch, but it turned into lunch because let's face it, I'm not really a morning person. Anyway. It was fun reminiscing with Tina, Mel, and Stacy about Jr. High. Good times. Whoever thought a mandatory gymnastics unit was a good idea?

American Idol

2009-02-01T10:07:00.004-07:00

American Idol has returned in all its glory. I loved the episode from Salt Lake. Pretty much summed up our state. I can't wait for Hollywood week. I'm so glad they brought back the group songs. Get ready for some train wrecks people. I don't have any favorites yet, still too soon to tell, but I did like the girl from Salt Lake with the tattoos all down her arm. I liked how she sang her song. But my favorite moment came from the first episode when Ryan Seacrest tried to high five the blind guy. It was pretty funny.

I'm so blue...

2009-01-24T08:40:00.003-07:00

Today I'm feeling a little glum. The reasons?

No milk. I wanted cereal for breakfast. Now I have to get dressed and go shopping or else settle for toast.
Alison Becker no longer hosts VHI video countdown. It's a new guy and he just can't bring the funny like she did. I knew she made a mistake when she cut those bangs.
I'm sure it's just water weight.
My DVR went weird when I recorded this week's Biggest Loser so I only saw the first 15 minutes.
I thought I'd watch it online so I came downstairs but I forgot my glasses. I'm actually typing this with the screen about a foot from my face.
Rain.
Toxic rain.
Those stroke commercials -- now every time I get dizzy, have a headache, or slur my words I think I'm having a stroke.
401K. My statements came last week.
I heard the new U2 single and I just don't like it.
Laundry, another Saturday more loads of laundry.

Here are a few things that will surely help me get out of this funk:

All Small and Mighty -- So small, so mighty, and it does smell pretty good.
U2 is releasing a new CD not just a single.
Lost is back.
I actually like toast. Especially if I eat it with honey.
It really is water weight. My scale can calculate that.
I can always read the top 20 videos online.
The rain should clear out the inversion.
I have a laptop so when I walk upstairs to get my glasses I can take it with me.
I still have many, many years till retirement so my 401K can recover.
It's Saturday.

I feel better already.

King for a day

2009-01-16T08:39:00.003-07:00

In school this month we have been reading many biographies. It's a nice way to introduce Martin Luther King Day and Presidents Day, and enhance the students' background knowledge of these important individuals.

This week some of the stories have been about Ruby Bridges, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, and Martin Luther King Jr. When my student teacher asked the kids to explain why MLK was such an important person one of the kids writes,

"He was important because he went to church and he was a king." Chuckle. But seriously it is so refreshing to talk to young children who truly have no prejudices towards people of different races and ethnicities. My class is made up of children with a variety of skin tone, hair colors, and ethnicities. I have never heard one of them say something unkind about another person because of the color of their skin. Now, if we can just work on not saying unkind things period that would be a step in the right direction.

It's cute listening to their reactions when you read about how Rosa Parks had to sit in the back of the bus, or how Ruby Bridges had to go to a different school because she was black. They are appalled. I know racism still exists, but it is most definitely a learned behavior. It's up to the adults to set an example of respect, tolerance, and non-violence.

I feel so lucky to be able to witness this historic presidential inauguration. Even my second graders are excited about it. I know that they don't realize the true significance of the event but they can feel the anticipation of what is to come. I know I for one I will be watching and reflecting about how far we've come as a nation. This moment is profound.

Community Ed.

2009-01-08T19:38:00.002-07:00

Just before New Year's Eve I received my Granite Peaks Community Ed catalog in the mail. Amie had called to give me a head's up about some of the courses and I was anxious to read up on the offerings. I do love to take classes and I thought I might try to round out my transcripts with a little less math and a little more liberal arts. Here are a few of my favorite offerings:

Finding Your Wings: Intuitive Healing 1

Explore meditation, breath work, chakras, auras, Reiki, some quantum-touch....Learn some Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) for self, family, friends, and pets....

Forkbending

...Boost confidence and self-esteem while learning some fun and effective Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). Bring your positive attitude and open mind;...Taught by Healing Coach Utahna Tassie.

Practical Pendulum & Muscle Testing

...Kinesiology can enable one to locate lost children, pets, underground water, best place for a business or vacation, problems with automobile, misplaced jewelry, etc. We'll also learn to find and clear substance sensitivites for family and pets with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

Paganism, Witchcraft, Wicca

Although few know much about it, Paganism is one of the world's oldest religions. It is a spiritual way of life and a religion of nature. Become educated and tolerant of others by studying different creeds. If anyone you know claims s/he is now a Pagan, or Wiccan, take this class to understand the basics of this ancient religion. Come with an open mind. You may be surprised at what you learn!

Hmmm...

While I am intrigued about how Emotional Freedom Techniques may help me calm my dog and really, who wouldn't want to locate underground water? The Paganism and Witchcraft course pushed me over the edge. So, on second thought I'm round enough -- I'll just stick to my algebra class and water aerobics, and call it good.

Best movies

2008-12-28T15:06:00.005-07:00

Everyone is doing year-end lists and I can't be left out. It's been fun compiling my best and worst list. On any given day the placement may change but I'm pretty secure in my top ten.

Here are my top ten movies of 2008:

Australia
Young@Heart
Iron Man
Marley and Me
Baby Mama
Ghost Town
The Dark Knight
Kit Kittredge an American Girl
Twilight
W.

I also saw a whole lot of kid films that I must say I thoroughly enjoyed so here are my top five:

Kit Kittredge an American Girl
Kung Fu Panda
Nim's Island
Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D
WALL-E

I'd include my list of worst movies of 2008 but then I'd have to admit that I saw Burn After Reading and Tropic Thunder. Oops. Well, here goes:

Burn After Reading
Tropic Thunder
The Happening
Cloverfield
X-Files I Want to Believe
Made of Honor
Nights in Rodanthe
Yes Man
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
Nothing Like the Holidays

After looking at all the films released in 2008 these are some of the films I still plan to see but just haven't made the effort.

Penelope
Mama Mia!
The Secret Life of Bees
Bolt
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Valkyrie
Last Chance Harvey
Doubt
Bedtime Stories

Favorite Songs of 2008

2008-12-28T12:27:00.003-07:00

I switched my playlists to the songs I could listen to over and over again in 2008. When making the list I tried to be a purist. If the album was released in 2007 -- scratch, off the list. That eliminated a whole slew of songs. I had to take off all the Kid Rock, Daughtry, Jordin Sparks, Colbie Caillat, Sara Bareilles, and Regina Spektor that I love and helped me get through 2008. Really, I could have put the entire Cold Play album there as well as the Joshua Radin CD although I like We Were Here better than Simple Times. One album I will not be putting on the list is Fleet Foxes. It made the top ten of so many music critics. I've listened to it and I just don't get it. One song I do get however, is The Shining by Badly Drawn Boy. I heard it in the movie trailer for Last Chance Harvey a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't place it. It was driving me crazy until last night and yipee I heard it again and there it was. Great song but sadly it was released in 2000 so it's not on the list but you can listen to it here. The songs are in no particular order because I can't narrow it down like that. I couldn't limit it to ten either but these are my favorites. If I'm being honest with myself I would also include some Rhianna and Beyoncè but that's a little too honest.

Reflecting

2008-12-26T16:08:00.002-07:00

This year the family started what I think will be a new tradition. On Saturday we got together early on Christmas Eve to have a short skit of the Christmas story and eat breakfast for dinner. Kiley made the best pecan cinnamon rolls and dad made a delicious breakfast bake. After we ate, we all sat around reminiscing while the kids tormented/played with the guinea pig and toys in grandma's closet. Since Ashley will be turning 16 next year the conversation landed on cars we drove as teenagers. We drove a whole lot of Buicks. Buicks were a favorite because these cars were hand me downs from Grandpa S. and Grandpa G. We certainly drove them into the ground.

Some of the great features of the cars were.

Brake failures. Apparently, we had multiple brake failures. Thankfully, the worst brake failure occurred when all of us were crammed in the car along with the Towers and as we were going down a hill on Wasatch Blvd the brakes went out. Luckily, the hill was followed by a steep incline so we were able to stop. After a short hike to a stranger's house to make a call for help we refilled on brake fluid and away we went.
Power Steering failures. It's always fun trying to turn the car without the appropriate fluid.
Windows that wouldn't roll down. One freezing night I stopped at the Pepperwood guard shack to tell them I was there for a visit and the window fell down into the door. Later, dad was able to shimmy the window back up but we were not able to roll it down. Ever. Not even when pulled over by police officers telling us to roll the window down.
Astro Van adventures. This was not a hand me down. It was the family car and we considered it a great privilege to load it up and drive friends wherever. These rides were generally limited to late night shenanigans, drive bys (our friendly term for stalking), and group dances.
Radio signals. The most unique feature of the Buick century was the radio antennae that went around the windshield. It was unique because the radio would only work when we were going north or south. Every time you turned east or west -- static.
Got a dollar? You've got a car. -- Matt actually bought my Grandpa G.'s car for a dollar and then drove it across the country to get it home. Who let's a 16 year old drive a car from Mississippi to Utah? Later, the car was sold to Michelle's boyfriend for a dollar. Once he got it to his house Michelle had broken up with him and the car broke down in his driveway. Too bad so sad Jerk. You've got to love life's little ironies.
Windshield wiper malfunctions. After college mom and dad helped me get into my first real car. I certainly drove this car into the ground. It was good to me up until that last year and then everything that could go wrong with it did. It finally died on me a couple of days before Christmas late one night outside Barnes and Nobel in Sugarhouse. Good news -- new car. Bad news registering a car in December. The first real repair I had to do on the Mercury Tracer was to fix the windshield wipers. Somehow, something got mixed up with the wiring and once the windshield wipers were turned on they wouldn't turn off. In fact every time I accelerated they would go faster. I went through a lot of wiper fluid that year until I earned enough to pay for the $700 dollar repair. Little did I know that was just the beginning of the end for the little green car.

Well, Christmas Eve dinner was followed by a round of musical instruments and songs, with a few presents opened. Everyone was off to their respective homes by 6:30. It was a great night and we had a lot of fun. The next morning Mom, Dad, and I braved the blizzard in Herriman, the rain/snow in Sandy, and the blue sky in Midvale to stop by and deliver gifts on Christmas Day. It was fun seeing what everyone received. The best was watching dad rock out to guitar hero. He only got 23% but he didn't care. The only thing keeping him from the air guitar finals is hair and a bad knee. Otherwise, he'd be able to compete with the best of them. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Got good car stories? I'd love to hear them.

Favorite New Song

2008-12-13T10:13:00.007-07:00

I can't get enough of this song. I first heard it two weeks ago when Sheryl Crow was featured on an early Sunday news program. I wasn't really watching but I heard a clip of the song and was immediately hooked. So pretty. Such a great message. I actually bought the CD at Hallmark which I never do anymore. I usually just buy music on itunes, but it's one of those exclusive deals. I really don't like the rest of the CD, but I love this song. I hope it becomes more available. Anyway, give it a listen from youtube (Mom, you'll have to turn off the music at the bottom before you play it.).

Sheryl Crow -There is a Star that Shines Tonight

I hope that this post makes up for the post about my feet.

Heels

2008-12-12T07:34:00.004-07:00

In the winter as the air gets drier so do my heels. I really have to think about my feet. I must put lotion on before I go to bed. I must keep them smooth and callous free. I thinks that's why I love the Ped Egg so much. Anyway, I got a little behind on my foot maintenance regimen and the other day my heel cracked right down the middle. This is nothing new. It always happens. It's really gross. It's really painful. I thought about including a picture but I still feel guilty about posting the horrid Tyra Banks meat photo. I couldn't subject anyone to my dry cracked heel. But, in all honesty my heel has been giving me some trouble. It was not fun walking around at the Festival of Trees. My heel was screaming. I also think my right calf muscle is larger than my left because I've been walking on my toes for the past week so I don't put any pressure on my heel.

Last night I woke up because my foot hurt and I "overheard" this conversation in my head.

Big toe: Why don't we just get rid of him. (Him being my heel.)

Other big toe: We can't she won't let us. (She being me.)

This has led me to a few conclusions.

My heel is a male.
Body parts can hold grudges.
I should be committed.

In fact I shouldn't be posting this scenario because it could be used as evidence in the trial where my family tries to gain power of attorney.

Yes, after a nearly two week absence this is what you get. I apologize. I'll try and work up something a little more festive for the next post.

Giving Thanks

2008-11-29T09:21:00.002-07:00

I have so many blessings.

I'm glad to live in a country where I can express my opinions freely, travel across state lines without government approval, become educated, petition the government for change, choose my leaders, and worship in my own way.

I am thankful to have a loving family who respects each other, loves to spend time with one another, can joke without offense, and who will selflessly give of themselves to help another family member in need.

I am grateful for a job that is always new, reminds me of how important it is to be a problem solver, a friend, and to work hard. It gives me perspective on how to be a good parent and how not to be a good parent. I enjoy working with young people and old people and everyone in between.

There are also a few more things I am thankful for:

1.) Smiths Marketplace wasn't nearly as crowded as previous years and sock buying was extremely pleasant.

2.) The longest line we stood in was at Target, but even then it wasn't terrible.

3.) No cashiers over the age of 90 who are named Wanda, but then again, I didn't go to Walmart this year.

4.) The checkout counter in intimate apparel at JC Penny. No waiting.

5.) Dudley. I even got him a present, it's one of those automatic, as seen on TV, pet groomers that file his nails without pain. He might be pain free, but I might be in a lot of pain after I attempt to try it on him. I'm hoping for the best.

6.) The oatmeal in an oatmeal cookie bowl at Paradise Bakery. Yum.

7.) The quiche at Paradise Bakery. Yum, Yum. Thanks for going halvsies with me Kiley.

8.) Gas that is below $1.60.

9.) Naps.

10.) Great shopping buddies.

Give me 5

2008-11-23T19:50:00.003-07:00

Here's more random stuff about me.

5 things I was doing ten years ago.

This was hard. I can hardly remember yesterday, let alone ten years ago.

1 - Matt and Kiley just celebrated their tenth wedding anniversary so I know I celebrated with them.

2 - I was teaching 2nd grade at Riverside Elementary.

3 - I moved home and was living with mom and dad. Beginning teachers don't make much and mom had a garage full of teaching supplies.

4 - I was taking classes from USU to get my GT endorsement.

5 - Attended the Londonderry singles ward in Sandy.

5 things on my to do list.

1 - Wrap presents for Melanie, Mark, and Mom

2 - Watch George Stephanopoulos

3 - Correct two weeks worth of Weekend News

4 - Laundry

5 - Go to dad's to celebrate November birthdays.

(I got two of the five things done.)

5 snacks I like

1 - Cottage cheese with Cheez-It crackers.

2 - Quaker Granola bites (peanut butter flavor)

3 - Cashews and almonds with dried cranberries and blueberries

4 - Clementines

5 - Toast

5 Things I would do if I were a millionaire

1 - Hire a personal trainer

2 - Get Dudley some obedience lessons (we were kicked out of the last class)

3 - Remodel my kitchen

4 - Travel

5 - Save

5 Places I have lived

1 - Sandy

2 - Salt Lake

3 - Russia

4 - Estonia

5 - Latvia

5 Jobs I have had

1 - Teacher

2 - Nanny for a family with 12 children, 6 of whom were adopted from Russia

3 - U of U Development office (researcher)

4 - Famous Brands Housewares (associate)

5 - The Daily Utah Chronicle (staff writer, Editorial Editor)

If you read this you're tagged, but again, only if you want to.

Happy Birthday Melanie

2008-11-17T08:15:00.003-07:00

Today is Melanie's birthday. So in honor of her. I thought I'd write a little poem, or maybe rather an ode.

A Sisterly Ode Written at Work While Avoiding the Copy Room.

Melanie Melanie Melanie

Sometimes we call you Smell.

Who invented the name?

Don't give me credit.

The we, wasn't me, it was Shell.

You are my sister who I adore

I'm jealous of your husband

because he installed your

new floor.

You have very cute kids

Whom I like a lot.

They really are sweet

Adam's never a snot.

You helped do my laundry

when I was out of comish

you scrubbed all my toilets

and washed every dish.

You can quote any movie

without a mistake

You even like scary ones

but they make my knees quake.

You love 80's tunes

Devo, Talking Heads, and U2

Blind, Big Chair, Whip it good

They sound like heaven to you.

Diet Coke is your drink

Don't even slip up with a Pepsi

Accidentally mention it once in a blog

And I might as well have lepsi (AKA leprosy)

My ode's about done

It's rather absurd

I followed no rules

It's no "Flightless Bird"

But, Melanie Melanie

Not much left to say

I hope you have fun on

your thirty blankth birthday.

Babysitting

2008-11-16T15:22:00.003-07:00

Last week I got to spend the weekend watching the kids while Matt and Kiley left for their cruise to the Caribbean. I got there Saturday morning and we enjoyed a calm start. It was a beautiful day so we walked to the park. Miles is a climber! He wanted to climb everything. Including the giant slide. Hannah was a great helper keeping track of him. The girls had fun chasing each other around and Madelyn even attempted to swing on the twister with a couple of bigger kids. It didn't work out so well, so we decided to head back home for lunch and a nap for Miles. While Miles napped the girls worked on the computer, played with the perler beads, and then we all watched Felicity. When Miles woke up we got ready to go see Madagascar 2. It was cute. We finished the night at IHOP for dinner. By bedtime I was just as tired as everyone else was so we all went to bed. Sunday morning we got up and had leftover pancakes for breakfast and then we all got ready to go to grandma's house for church. My timing was off and we got ready too early so we played and read books until it was time to go to grandma's. Grandpa was speaking so it was nice to be able to listen to his talk about following the prophet. Grandma was teaching Sunday School so my only stress came at the end of sacrament meeting when mom had left, dad was nowhere, Miles was falling asleep and I was trying to pick up everything on the bench. How do single moms do it? But Tina was there to help. She walked the girls to primary and I made it Sunday School but gave up half way through when Miles was zonked so dad and I took him back home and put him down for a nap, it was time for my nap too. All in all it was a fun time. The kids were fantastic, but I have a new appreciation for moms out there. It was tough and tiring. But I'd still do it again in a heartbeat. Matt and Kiley, thanks for letting me hang out with the kids. Hope your vaca was amazing. Can't wait to hear all about it.

6 Quirks

2008-11-16T14:59:00.002-07:00

Okay, after this post I'll be all caught up.

1. I HATE to make left hand turns. I avoid them at all cost. I have inherited this from my dad. Kids watch out. Don't make fun of your parents -- you really do become them. I also argue with cashiers if an injustice has been dealt.

2. My eyebrows sweat if I get nervous. This is in addition to my palms, my arpits, my upper lip, and my neck. Gross.

3. I can pick things up with my toes. I can also pinch people really hard with them. Just ask Michelle. She lived in fear of the pinchers. But she was able to get me back by sticking her finger in the hole on the back of my knee. I hate that!

4. I laugh. A lot. Because of this people often confuse me with being extremely happy and nice. But, really I'm rather sarcastic and cynical. Laughter is my nervous response. If you ask me, I think I suffer from social anxiety disorder and this is how it is revealed. Some people turn lights on and off before entering a room, I laugh like a machine gun.

5. I can't eat cooked peppers. I like the flavor. I even like them raw, but after they've been cooked I just can't stomach them -- literally.

6. My thumbs are double jointed. I can bend them all the way back to my wrist. This is the only physical skill in which I excel.

Any quirks? I'd love to hear them. Or read them. Whatever.

2008-11-16T14:16:00.002-07:00

The 8 Things Tag...

8 TV shows I love to watch:
1. The Amazing Race
2. So You Think You Can Dance
3. American Idol
4. The Biggest Loser
5. ER
6. Heroes
7. Lost
8. Life

8 Favorite Restaurants
1. Dos Seranos (I know it closed like five years ago but I can't get over it. They had the best cheese quesadilla and tamales)
2. Sam Pan (Sesame Chicken to die for)
3. Rafaels (Yummy bean and cheese nachos)
4. Doughboyzz (Hawaiian sandwich with ham, pineapple, and pecans)
5. Rumbi (Aloha Mango Chicken salad)
6. Tuccis (Yup, they closed too, but they had this chicken and pine nut dish that was so yummy)
7. The Metropolitan (Only been there once with a friend who writes reviews for the D-News but I can still taste the Kobe beef bar bites, the crispy duck, the raw tuna -- it seriously was like butter, but the best thing was the panna cotta, and the cream cheese ice cream. Decadent.)
8. The Crepe place in Pike Place Market (Fresh peaches and cream made it delightful.)

8 Things that happened today
1. Woke up 6:00
2. Back to Bed
3. Woke up again 9:00
4. Watched Meet the Press
5. Watched This Week With George S. The headliner was Arnold Schwarzenegger
6. Sniffled, sneezed, coughed
7. Downloaded music on itunes
8. Blogged a bit

8 things that I look forward to:
1. Having clear sinuses
2. The weekend
3. Twilight (the movie)
4. The day after Thanksgiving shopping
5. Spending time with family
6. The return of Lost
7. Library day
8. Checking email

8 Things on my wish list:
1. (Let's just assume I'm not super shallow and the first 5 choices will be things like peace in the world, a solution to the energy crisis, homes for the homeless, a cure for cancer, and a happy family. So now I can be a little more selfish.)
6. A size 10, (I'd even take a 12 or a 14. Who am I kidding I'd be elated with 16.)
7. A permanent classroom aide, no more than 18 kids in my class, and specialists for music, PE, art, and computers -- I can dream, can't I?
8. A nice kitchen including a new back door and a working stove.

Your turn. You're tagged. But only if you want to.

Catch Up

2008-11-16T13:49:00.002-07:00

I've been sick this week. So now I'm going to try and play catch up.

First, fellow blogger Kelly posted about her five recent downloads from itunes. I love itunes and download music all the time. This post was made for me.

My most recent downloads were all for the kids. I'm a bit sensitive to the fact that I need to have a life outside of school, so I hesitated even mentioning this, but I am also a bit of a rule follower and felt it wouldn't be honest if I listed the five previous downloads, (that plus the fact that several of them were from American Idol alumns and I'm still not ready to embrace this pop side of my musical interests). So, it didn't take much to convince me to do a search for some new music. So here are my 5 most recent kid song downloads, and my 5 most recent grown up downloads.

Kids songs

Move It from the Madagascar sound track -- put this on during PE and the kids go wild.
789 by The Barenaked Ladies
Crazy ABCs by The Barenaked Ladies
ZYX by They Might Be Giants
Clap Your Hands by They Might Be Giants

My downloads

Love Lockdown by Kanye West
Trouble is a Friend by Lenka
Be OK by Ingrid Michaelson
Simple Times by Joshua Radin -- I couldn't decide on just one song so I bought the whole album.
Winter Song by Sarah Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson

Halloween fun

2008-11-02T09:35:00.013-07:00

So I was crazy busy on Halloween. I was trying to get everything cleaned up from the party, put all the October stuff away, take out all the November stuff out, clean my room for parent conferences, and get grades ready, so I was feeling a little sad that I didn't get to hang out with the nieces and nephews. Who cares if Saturday was November 1st -- I decided to extend the ghoulish activities one more day. I absconded with Hannah, Madelyn, Ashley and Adam and dragged them grandma's house where we replicated some of the activities parent helpers came up with for the party.

First, we made some creepy crawlies with gumdrops.

Next, we folded origami bats and made witches' fingers to eat with our lunch.

After that, we took out crushed skeleton bones, bat blood, vampire drool, pond slime, and snake venom and made some serious potions in our scientific laboratory.

We finished everything off with some veggie monsters and ate them for lunch.

After we got everything cleaned up Ashley and Adam had to leave but Hannah, Madelyn, grandma, and I made animals with the pressed leaves I had leftover from my classroom.

It was a fun day.

Late fees

2008-10-31T09:14:00.005-06:00

I have a problem with returning things. I can't be trusted with a Blockbuster video card. I only rent from Red Box if I am going to watch the show immediately and then return it that same night. NetFlix doesn't do me any good because, while they don't charge late fees, they do charge monthly fees so I know I would end up keeping a movie for more than a month and just not get around to ordering a new one. I can't check out DVDs or CDs from the public library because the fines are too high for late returns but I do like to check out books. Now that I can renew online and reserve items online I have generally been able to avoid anything more than a 30¢ fine. The problem came three weeks ago when I noticed I had an overdue book. I immediately returned the book I finished the previous week and picked up my next book waiting for me on reserve. Then came October. This is a crazy month school - wise. I've got mid-terms at the U., Halloween at school, professional development I have to teach, and of course report cards I must prepare. (This is what I should be doing right now, but I'm having a hard time focusing knowing it's been a week since my last post. I feel like I've been slacking on the blog.) Anyway, yesterday I get a message from "Conan the Librarian" notifying me that I have an overdue book. I was very confused because I thought I returned it. I jump online and realize I returned the wrong one. So, I attempt to renew What was Lost because I'm only half way through and I am really enjoying it, but there is a wait list of more than 40 people. I now have had a library book overdue for more than three weeks. I want to finish it but I'm so busy. I realize a library card is a privilege and the library system only works if people return items in a timely matter. So, now I've racked up another fine. My goal is to finish it tonight while I sit in the living room waiting for trick-or-treaters. I have also come to the realization that I probably won't be ready to read a book for enjoyment until Thanksgiving. Oh well live and learn.

BTW -- Kiley, I still have your Corel mini casserole dish with lid that I will return (someday) and Amie, I still have your Oprah DVD boxed set and your copies of Night and Bright Lights..... I haven't forgotten. Long term memory is still there. It's the short term that prevents me from getting them back to you when I see you, oh, almost every week.

Nice neighbors

2008-10-24T19:42:00.002-06:00

I love getting home from work to find my garbage can stowed away, right where it should be. On garbage days my neighbor usually beats me home and I frequently pull in and realize, yup, she's done it again. Such a simple act but oh, so nice. There's a lot of good in this world.

EWWW!

2008-10-17T10:27:00.004-06:00

The other night I awoke from a deep sleep with a refreshing open mouthed yawn. I was greeted with a warm wet tongue. TMI? Yes, it was Dudley who apparently wanted to sample some of my morning breath. That is when I shoved him off the bed, ran to the bathroom, and brushed my teeth four times. I trashed the toothbrush and am now on my way to buy a new one.

I don't mind a good snuggle with the Dudster, but French kissing is going too far. A girl's gotta have her standards.

The good news: Due to this post the scary Tyra Banks photo is no longer on the page.

The bad news: Feeling violated every time I look at that tongue. : (

Bubble recipe

2008-10-17T10:15:00.002-06:00

Here is the Garber family super bubble recipe.

Mix:

1 gallon of water
3/4 cup Joy or Dawn liquid detergent

(Not the fancy kinds, just regular Joy or Dawn like they had in the 70s.)

Let sit in open container 2-3 days, then...

Add:

3 - 4 Tbsp Glycerin

Mix together (Stir, don't shake or you get lots of foam) -- gets better with time

Things to make giant bubbles with:

Jar rings
Strawberry baskets
Straws and string tied into shapes

To get the really big bubbles my dad has actual bubble wands he got at a toy store somewhere. He made more with PVC pipes and canvas straps. He keeps bubble juice on hand in the garage for the occasional day of Utah humidity. So much fun.

Photo tag

2008-10-16T09:16:00.002-06:00

It's Wednesday morning and I'm sitting here in my pajamas. I just had a nice bowl of cinnamon life. Yum. And I must say how much I love UEA. Sure, I'll go to the convention. I just don't need to arrive at 7:30 a.m. Sure, I'll be working on school related items all week. I'll just do it in my pajamas. So, before I dig in, I thought I'd get caught up on some blogging.

This tag was to go to my fourth picture folder and download the fourth picture. At first I didn't think I had folders. My idea of organization is pile of this, pile of that, I'm embarrassed to even describe my desktop, both real and virtual. Anyway, I was delighted to find that iPhoto organizes my pictures for me according to event, so this was my photo. It's of my dad and Adam making bubbles one humid afternoon. Dad really does know how to get some good bubbles going. We have a great video of one vacation to Mississippi and everyone is out on the front lawn to cheer on runners in a race but the real show wasn't the race, it was the giant bubbles. It was very cool.

A New Tag

2008-10-10T23:30:00.004-06:00

The rules: Answer the following questions with one word answers and pass it on to seven others.

Here are the questions:
1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Where is your significant other? lost
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother? talented
5. Your father? hilarious
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? concealed
8. Your dream/goal? slenderize
9. The room you're in? kitchen
10. Your hobby? kid-lit
11. Your fear? snakes
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? 140
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? tidy
15. One of your wish-list items? windows
16. Where you grew up? utopia
17. The last thing you did? theatered
18. What are you wearing? sweats
19. Your TV? overused
20. Your pet? vindictive
21. Your computer? MacBook
22. Your mood? passive
23. Missing someone? daily
24. Your car? practical
25. Something you're not wearing? braids
26. Favorite store? Ikea
27. Your summer? satisfying
28. Love someone? Yes
29. Your favorite color? pink
30. When is the last time you laughed? tonight
31. Last time you cried? tonight

You're it: Mel, Michelle, Kiley, Tina, Lesley, Stacy, Nicky

Four and a half stars

2008-10-05T09:43:00.004-06:00

So yesterday I took the kids and Matt to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua. The Trib gave it one star. I guess they thought the racial undertones and the insipid doggy clothes perpetuated stereotypes about Mexicans as well as L.A. socialites. I however, very much enjoyed watching the pack of wild desert chihuahuas fight off three roaring mountain lions. Later that evening after a stop at Barbacoa for their yummy burrito soup, I went with Amie to see Flash of Genius. The Trib gave it three and a half stars. It's a story about an inventor who sued Ford motor company for their patent infringement of the intermittent windshield wiper. Good story just probably best viewed at the 7:00 pm showing instead of the 9:40 pm. It's not often I see two movies in one day, but when you combine them, the total rating was four and a half stars. Not bad for a day at the theater.

I'm also thoroughly enjoying Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on SNL. She's going to have to come back as a regular if she gets elected. It's hard to stay up past the opening skit, but the last three have been hilarious. With Queen Latifa as Gwen Ifill, and Jason Sudekis as Joe Biden, it was dead on. I laughed out loud. My rating is five and a half stars. So I guess that makes my night a perfect 10.

The Power of Environmental Print

2008-09-26T22:11:00.002-06:00

Normally, I don't laugh when I correct spelling tests. But when three kids miss a gimme word like "we" it was either laugh or cry. Yes, folks, they spelled it Wii.

Letterman V. McCain

2008-09-25T15:50:00.005-06:00

I can be pretty political when I want to be. I've tried to keep it out of my blog because I tend to make incriminating comments that come back to haunt me later. Trust me I am very opinionated when it comes to local, state, and national politics. But, I'd like to set my personal views aside and I hope that everyone can appreciate the following post for what it is meant to be -- political humor. Just a word of warning to any future candidates appearing on The Late Show. Don't cross David Letterman.

David Letterman

(The clip is nine minutes. The best part comes when he's sitting with Keith Oberman at about the 7 minute mark.)

I just found another clip that is a lot shorter with most of the highlights.

The Today Show

Now, I'm off to the store to buy a video tape for tonight. I've got my DVR set to record ER and Grey's Anatomy. Unfortunately, or fortunately Grey's is two hours tonight so now I am going to need to record CSI on an actual video tape. Oh I love premiere week. BTW -- Heroes was awesome. Yes, lame 80's term but I don't care. While I'm at it I'll add that it was gnarly and rad.

Stay at Home Week

2008-09-21T09:25:00.005-06:00

I like it how the networks have come up with a newly declared holiday -- "Stay at Home Week." I don't know if I can get on board. First, it conflicts with apple week at school. The new celebration also conflicts with teach math at the U night, and get eyebrows plucked for picture day salon appointment. Oh yeah, and stay up all night translating kid writing evening. Well, regardless of all the conflicts I couldn't be happier. I can't wait for Heroes and Thursday night might require some creative recording. Thank goodness for DVR. My Stay at Home Week might become Stay at Home Weekend. So far the premieres I've seen have been okay. Loved Biggest Loser that show is very motivational and inspiring. I watched Fringe -- it was okay but it just reminded me of the X files only not as creepy. The two stars are no Mulder and Scully and the crazy scientist can't compete with the three horsemen. The lead FBI investigator is kind of creepy but not as mysterious as the cigarette smoking man. I'll probably continue to watch as long as it doesn't conflict with anything else. I might have to drop America's Next Top Model. I watched the first 5 minutes and I think Tyra has been huffing the hairspray fumes. She is crazy -- crazy bad not crazy good. I may have to abandon this guilty pleasure.

Matt

2008-09-18T08:01:00.005-06:00

Happy Birthday Mattoo Wattoo!

Some favorite memories of Matt:

Underoos. He was a big fan.
Moon Boots. Another big fan.
Dad comes home from the store with a candy bar and hands it to Matt. Melanie and I look at each other -- "Why'd he get one?" Dad,"'Cause he's 'the boy'."
Racing from the top of Daisy Ave to see who could get home first -- Matt on a pastel green scooter. The rest of us -- Blue Astrovan. Matt won by a headflip over the handbars.
Driving across country to visit grandpa in Mississippi. Many stops at motels. Matt racing to be the first one into the room so he could be the first one into the pool. Face planting it on the motel door. Melissa, Melanie, and Michelle walking in first.
Matt would do anything for $5. Including the "Nestea Plunge." (Straight backflop into a pool. Arms outstretched.)
Give the boy a box of aluminum foil, a #10 can of beans, and a video camera -- You've got hours of entertainment.
Matt unfamiliar with Wassail innocently asking how to drink it -- Mel and I responding, rather sarcastically, "In a bowl Matt." Five minutes later Matt walks in with a steaming bowl of Wassail. I don't think he'll ever live it down.
Realizing how cool email can be when Matt was on his mission.
Great phone call concerning a certain "calling" in the primary. Let's just say I was a little manic at the time.
Best memory. Matt finding Kiley. They are the perfect pair.

Hope you have a happy birthday. You're a great brother.

Watch out Wasabi or The Princess and Her Pea

2008-09-13T18:56:00.006-06:00

I went to Sunflower Farmers' Market the other day. It's a new store in Murray with many healthy options. There are some great prices on fresh fruits and vegetables and some not so great prices on other boxed organic type stuff. One of my favorite snack items I normally buy at Target is their bag of cashews and cranberries, and then a bag of their almonds and blueberries and mix them together. Well, at Sunflower market they had all of these items for sale individually so I bought a container of whole unsalted raw cashews, one of whole raw almonds, another of dried blueberries, and finally, one of dried cranberries. I mixed all of them into one large container and these have been a delicious, sweet, crunchy snack all week long. It cost about as much as the two bags at Target but I got twice the amount and a whole lot more blueberries.

The other the thing I bought was a container of wasabi peas. Now I've had wasabi before and I've had dried peas before but I've never had them together. They seem to be all the rage and I've heard mention of them in several different instances in several different situations so I thought I'd jump on this bandwagon and try them out.

When I got home I tentatively popped a pea into my mouth. What followed was an intense tingle then a somewhat satisfying crunch. It was not unlike eating a sour patch kid, at first they're sour, but then they're sweet. The peas were definitely not sweet or sour but more like a painful pleasure kind of vibe. I still wasn't sure how I felt about them so I sampled a few more. I can see how these can be a little addictive. I was leisurely snacking away when apparently I got bored with the project and rather than eating them one at a time I got a little more adventurous and played around with two or three. Let's just say the pleasure to pain ratio was definitely starting to lean more towards the painful side. Finally, I decided I needed to be done with them and scooped the last handful of about eight or nine peas, no - not directly into the package but, perfectly into my mouth. What followed was the most intense nostril fire I have ever experienced. It was like in Back Draft. When I closed my mouth a bit of a vaccuum was created and the fire needed to escape somewhere. Where? I was to stunned to open my mouth and spit the peas out. No, the only exit was via the nasal cavity. I no longer have any nostril hair and my nose ran for the next two hours but all-in-all I'd buy the peas again. I'll consider their purchase a diet technique. Eating only one pea at a time can have it's benefits. Maybe that's why the Asian gymnasts were so tiny, that, and the fact that they were twelve.

A Rant

2008-09-10T16:09:00.005-06:00

I do not like inside recess. The kids think they like inside recess, but they really don't. There is something about cool fresh air and the ability to run and scream uninhibited that enables them to return to the classroom somewhat ready to participate and learn. Sure, we can do movement activities inside, we can stretch, we can sing, we can play a game, or even have free play, but there still is that stifling issue of having to remain in the square room, breathing the same air 26 other little bodies are breathing, and having to control the volume.

When it rains, snows, or is otherwise inclement weather, we go out. Maybe not for the full 15 minutes, but we go out. This does two things. 1) It allows the kids the opportunity to run and yell 2) It allows me to go to the bathroom. Unless, of course, I have recess duty, but then at least I get to breathe some fresh air.

I lived in Russia for a year and a half. The cold or wet isn't going to kill ya. Dress for the weather and you'll be fine.

Wardrobe Mishaps

2008-09-07T10:12:00.003-06:00

Friday I came home from work and immediately started to strip down so I could change into my pajamas. Yes, I didn't have any plans and it was already after 7:00 so I'm not going to feel guilty about spending a weekend night in my pajamas watching a Hallmark channel movie.

I digress. (Matt, or any other male individual, in case you are a regular reader, you might want to skip ahead to the bulleted section.) As I undress I'm having a hard time with my bra. The hooks just aren't coming undone. The situation was not looking good. My bra, AKA tourniquet, needed to come off. As I'm trying to remember where I put my scissors I look down and realize that there was something a little off about the fabric. Rather than pretty lace all I see are rough seams. Somehow I managed to put my bra on inside out. The new knowledge helped me free myself from the metal clasps. Instead of pushing left and out I needed to push right and in -- Ahhh freedom. As I snuggled in to watch cute Mark Conseulos in For the Love of Grace. I started to wonder how I managed to let that happen. I must have been somewhat delirious that morning not to have noticed the inside out situation. I really had to work on the fasteners. But then I realized that this is not an isolated event. There have been several occasions where I have suffered a wardrobe mishap. Here are a few.

I once went a whole day with my cardigan buttons misaligned. I don't know how it happened and the sad thing is no one told me.
I once walked into school fully dressed but wearing my slippers. I didn't notice until I entered the office and then proceeded to announce to everyone that I was wearing them. The most comfortable day on me feet ever.
I once wore bright purple tights with a green skirt. I thought they were black. When people asked if I got dressed in the dark I just answered yes. The harsh light of morning is sometimes a little too much for me.
I have a skirt that likes to completely turn around on my body. I might start the day wearing it the right way but by the end of the day the back slit has now become the front slit.
I also have a sock that does the exact same thing.
Tagless T-shirts are great except when you wear them inside out and backwards.
Knee socks -- They usually stay up until noon. Then, from lunchtime on I fight a battle that no elderly woman ever wins. I'm in a constant state of tugging and pulling.

Some of my wardrobe mishaps happen once I'm at work.

I've already mentioned chalklines from the blackboard elsewhere on this blog. Too many to count. Thank heavens for whiteboards.
I must remember to avoid tomato sauce at all cost. It always ends up somewhere on my clothing.
Tuesday I wore a long black skirt to school. That is the day I teach my class at the U. That is also the day one of my students dropped his lunch tray in the cafeteria and his mashed potatoes and gravy landed all over the front of my skirt.
The all time worst wardrobe mishap occurred the first year I was teaching. I was living at home because a first year teacher makes little and spends it all on her students. I drove into the parking lot at the crack of dawn and as the car came to a stop I threw up all over the front of my dress. A lesser teacher may have driven home at this point and called a sub -- not me. I called my mom to bring me a new jumper and finished the day. Martyr? Maybe. But, you just don't realize how hard it is to write sub plans for 7 year olds.

Finally, most of my mishaps occur because my laundry is usually in some varying state of undone. 1) On the floor 2) Sorted but dirty 3) In the washing machine 4) In the dryer but still not dry 5) Clean but wrinkled

I once bought an entire new outfit top to bottom, inside and out just to avoid doing my laundry. Shortly thereafter my family staged a loving intervention. While I was teaching a class they came and cleaned my house and did all my laundry for me. I'm embarrassed to say multiple washing machines and a trip to the laundry mat for the driers were necessary. In my defense I was trying to recover from a terrible bought of whooping cough and I had been extremely ill. But it was still one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

Anyway, I'm sure I've had many more wardrobe mishaps due to ill fitting, mismatched coloring, or unfortunate styling, but I choose to remain oblivious.

Overheard

2008-09-04T08:07:00.006-06:00

Many years ago when I was poor and living in Salt Lake City without a car I always said I would like to write a book entitled Conversations Overheard on the UTA. I liked to put my headphones on but not turn on the music and just listen. Oh, the stories. I also employed the use of my headphones at the laundry mat. Thus, prompting the idea for my sequel, Converstations Overheard at the Laundry Mat.

I now have my third title in the installment, Conversations Overheard in the Classroom. Fortunately children are pretty open, or naive, and no headphones are necessary. Here are two conversations from yesterday.

"Boy there sure are a lot of people crying today!"

"George Bush is breaking the law. He's trying to stop the war in Iraq and Abraham Lincoln started the war so that people can be free."

I have no explanation for the crying except to say my usual reaction to tears in the classroom (unless blood, bones, or other bodily fluids are involved) is not unlike Tom Hanks' character in A League of Their Own.

There's no crying in second grade.

Happy Meal = Happy Puppy

2008-08-30T13:10:00.009-06:00

Yesterday as I was driving home from work I couldn't bare the thought of having to go grocery shopping. I was completely out of dog food and had already filled Dudley's bowl with Life cereal that morning. It was from a box I had purchased at Smith's during one of their 10 for $10 deals about a year ago so I didn't feel too bad about using it up.

This first week of school is always so exhausting and I was looking forward to getting home, curling up in my bed, and clearing out my DVR of all the TV shows I missed this week. So, rather than stopping at the store I opted for Wendy's drive through. I order a Southwest salad and Diet Coke and then I heard myself say, "And I'd like a cheeseburger kids meal with a frosty." The attendant informed me that the kids meal already comes with a frosty so I told him I'd have a rootbeer. I would have ordered a Diet Coke but I didn't want him to think I was giving my "kid" D.C.

When I got home I plopped the cheeseburger and fries into the Dudster's bowl. He couldn't have been happier. I ate the frosty with my salad and I dumped the root beer. I did keep the cool Magic Tree House audio CD that came with the meal. I'll be able to use that in the classroom. Now I know what you're thinking. It is not okay to feed a dog human food. I know I'm a terrible, indulgent, pet owner that places my needs above my poor dog's. But, I was tired.

So, this morning I got up and made him some scrambled eggs. I really need to go shopping.

Dudley's meal.

My meal.

Note to Self

2008-08-29T15:08:00.005-06:00

So I'm at the dentist's office ready to get my cavities filled. I recline in the chair, open my mouth and as the dentist adjusts the light, shot in hand, he says..."So, we're going to need to have a little talk about your blog." My blog? What? How did he...? MOM!!! So I didn't realize that my mom and dad also go to the same dentist and coincidentally scheduled an appointment shortly after my post entitled The C Word. Mom, you know I love you, but, did you really have to mention the fact that my dentist (I'm being very careful not to name names in case he does a google search) was the star of two, now three, posts? He's worried that I'm disparaging his name and basically the entire dentistry profession. He's also seconds away from giving me a shot and grinding down my cavity-ridden molar. Ugh. Not the position I want to be in. I did confess to mentioning a certain ultra cool X-ray machine. All in all the appointment wasn't too bad. He was pretty hilarious and I laughed through the entire ordeal, and that was without the aide of gas.

My favorite moment happened later that evening after purchasing a bowl of burrito soup (Yum!) from Barbacoa. I sat down and began to eat. The entire left side of my mouth was still numb and I was worried about biting my cheek and not knowing it, so thus the soup purchase. What I should have been worried about was keeping the soup in my mouth. Every spoonful dribbled out the side of my mouth and down my shirt. I felt like I was in a Buster Keaton movie. I gave up after having only eaten a fourth of the bowl. Ironically the only thing I could really keep in my mouth were the very crunchy and extremely tasty tortilla strip garnishes that come with the soup.

Pet Peeves

2008-08-24T13:17:00.004-06:00

Whenever I start a new year with my students I always let them in on a few of my pet peeves. I figure if I am upfront right from the beginning I can generally eliminate any Miss Garber's lost it and is going crazy scenes that tend to occur when students do these things. Here are my top three irritations, somewhat unique to me, in no particular order.

Gloppy glue -- young children like to hold the glue bottle at least 12 inches above the paper they are going to glue something to and then squeeze like crazy. The result is glue oozing out everywhere. It takes twice as long to dry and what typically occurs is that when the child turns their project in, inevitably another child will place their paper on top of it, adhering both pieces of art together. I avoid this scene on simple cut and paste projects by allowing students to use glue sticks. However, for construction paper projects that require liquid Elmer's (don't get me started on the washable school glue) I go over with great detail the gluing procedures. First, place the tip of the glue bottle on the smaller paper that you are going to glue and then give a gentle squeeze. Trust the glue. It will stick as long as it has time to dry. More is not better.
Chairs -- Push them in. Also, if the chair is orange it needs to be at the reading table. Brown chairs stay at the project table and blue chairs, well, of course they stay at student desks. I wouldn't have this problem if all the chairs matched, but that would just make my life easy.
Pencils -- Don't bite 'em, flick 'em, roll 'em, or use them as a weapon. My biggest pet peeve involves the sharpening of pencils. I can appreciate a nice sharp pencil as much as anyone - granted, a lot of the problem lies with the lame-o low bid pencils that the district purchases. I think the lead in the barrel of the pencil is broken every two centimeters in every pencil ordered. Students are forced to get out of their seat and are in constant need of a new pencil. As soon as the pencil sharpener starts it's like Pavlov's Bell. Pencils begin to break, students start talking, and chaos ensues. All the while the student sharpening their pencil has ground it down to the tiniest nub which granted, is "cute" but not very efficient. I attempt to deal with my pencil sharpener issues by doing several things: each student gets two cushion grip mechanical pencils in addition to four newly sharpened regular pencils, at centers they get to use pens or markers, I have a can containing sharp pencils and a can containing dull pencils -- Take a pencil, leave a pencil policy. I also give every student their own pencil sharpener for emergencies. Thus creating my vacuum girls pet peeve, pencil shavings, for some reason they don't bother me.

Well, hopefully, by explaining my pet peeves in a nice, rational, and sane way, the children will comply with my requests and together we will have a stellar year. So far, I'm on a roll. I forgot my plan book at school this Saturday. I begged my principal to open the school. The secretary took pity on me and came in for two hours yesterday. But when it was time to leave I left it sitting open underneath the schedule chart on top of the bookshelf. The perfect place for it. Oh well, ready or not here they come...

Can I Help You With That?

2008-08-20T18:25:00.002-06:00

So, on my way to work I decide to run into the Top Stop and pick up a Diet Pepsi. I love the Top Stop because they have the yummy pebble/Sonic ice. I figure I might as well succumb to a frosty beverage before I walk into what was sure to be a long hot day at the Park. So, I'm in line standing behind a man with a cast on his hand. When the attendant rings up his purchase he goes for his wallet. Because I'm standing behind him, I witness the struggle that ensues as he attempts to free his wallet from his buttoned back pocket. After what seems like several minutes I think to myself, "I should offer to help him." But, then I quickly realize how foolish that would be, given the proximity to his backside, and immediately discard the silly notion with a little laugh. The laughing was not inside my head. The man turns to me and says, "It's not funny." Which then just prompts more laughing. The poor man tells the cashier to cancel his purchase as he walks to the bathroom so he can access his cash. I look at the cashier and we both just laugh. I don't know what's worse, looking like I was laughing at him, or actually thinking that I would help him unbutton his pants. Ugh!

Fortunately, Unfortunately

2008-08-20T09:28:00.003-06:00

Fortunately summer vacation has been one of the best ever.
Unfortunately it is pretty much over.
Fortunately I love starting a new school year.
Unfortunately I only have two days to be ready for the kiddos.
Fortunately I have been working hard these past two weeks and should only need about two days to be ready.
Unfortunately I have to teach a math class tomorrow so that knocks me down to only one day.
Fortunately I have the weekend to finish up any last minute details and make necessary copies.
Unfortunately I don't own an industrial size copy machine.
Fortunately I don't use a lot of worksheets.
Unfortunately I do use a lot of graphic organizers, journal pages, and have lots of notes to prepare.
Fortunately I still have today to work on things.
Unfortunately I am wasting time updating my blog.
Fortunately I'm almost done.
Unfortunately I'm exhausted from watching the Olympics.
Fortunately I got to see Shawn Johnson win a gold medal.
Unfortunately it still doesn't help me prepare for the first day.
Fortunately I have a super fun idea for a first day lesson.
Unfortunately the book I ordered still hasn't arrived.
Fortunately I can go to the library. I love the library.

I'll break the chain and look on the fortunate side -- I really am getting excited for a new batch of kids. I love this time of year!

The C Word

2008-08-11T23:04:00.004-06:00

Cavities -- I've got um. Two to be exact. So I went to my dental appointment today. I sat down in the chair, and the dentist said, now tell me girl, why does it hurt and where....Actually, he said, "Did you know that one of your teeth is rotated exactly 180 degrees?" Why yes, I did know that. Every time I go to the dentist he tells me that. My dentist also happens to specialize in forensic dentistry and upon first discovering my 180 degree molar he exclaimed that little idiosyncrasy would be helpful in identifying my remains, if the need should arise. So everyone take note -- 180 degree molar.

Today was especially fun because my dentist was very excited to show off his new "ultra cool" digital X-ray machine. It was so ultra cool that he was able to see cavities that he never would have identified otherwise. In fact this new ultra cool X-ray located the two minuscule cavities that most definitely would have been invisible with the old X-ray. He's telling me this why?

So I have another appointment on the 28th. I guess I'll have to keep flossing.

And the winner is...

2008-08-08T07:51:00.002-06:00

I loved watching SYTYCD last night. Joshua won. He is such a sweetheart. I was also happy because the judges chose their favorite dances and they performed then again. The performances they chose were all on my favorites list. Yeah! It was a great finale.

Season Finale

2008-08-06T22:15:00.004-06:00

Thursday is the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance. What will I do with myself now that I have freed up two nights of television viewing? I'm sad it's over. I love watching the dancers -- so talented and fun to watch. I can't decide who I want to win. Katee has been a favorite since day one, but I really like Joshua too. I've compiled some of my favorite performances. Hopefully the links all work, it can be hit or miss with youtube. Well, if you have a half hour to kill they are worth a watch. If you only have one minute to kill watch Gev's final solo. It's AMAZING! (Mom, all you have to do is click on the link and everything will start automatically -- it's a miracle.)

BTW, it's Wednesday night and I am going downstairs to take my garbage can out right now. Yeah for me! I can't miss three weeks in a row. Also, I have been flossing diligently, sometimes five times a day. I'm hoping that if I increase my average I will have a positive report. Wish me luck.

What About Now?

2008-08-05T09:40:00.011-06:00

I have loved Chris Daughtry ever since American Idol and I have loved the song What About Now since the first time I heard it. Last week I saw the video for the first time and I was stunned. It is powerful, moving, and worth a watch/listen. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

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