Busy, Busy, Busy

I can't believe how busy I've been for the last little while.  I can trace it back to three things.  First, I have been sick, sick, sick with a horrible, grab your children and run cough that never goes away.  Second, I have class every Tuesday and Wednesday night.  Finally, my student teacher left to complete her kindergarten assignment.  I was happy to have my class back, but it sure was nice having an extra body to complete some of the routine tasks that can really add up when it's just one person trying to do it all.  But, the good news is my cough finally seems to be winding down, after this Tuesday I'll only have class on Wednesday, and that will free up some time for me to catch up on school stuff.  This weekend Amie and I headed down to BYU to watch the U gymnasts compete in their final meet of the season.  They sure did awesome.  Amie and I started going to the meets a couple of seasons ago when she got some free tickets.  It was such a nice break from our regular weekend adventures we kept going and now I'm hooked.  The meets are always interesting and fun to watch. Can't wait to see how they do at nationals.

Happy P-Day!

Can someone please answer a question for me? Is it President's Day? Presidents' Day? or Presidents Day? Let's examine each scenario.

1. President's Day -- A day designated to honor the current president.  The apostrophe indicating the president "owns" the day if you will.
2. Presidents' Day -- A day designated to honor all presidents.  The apostrophe indicating the presidents "own" the day if you will.
3. Presidents Day -- A day designated to honor presidents but no ownership is indicated because really how do you own a day?

This has bothered me for a while now and I've seen it all three ways.  Apparently I'm influenced by environmental print as much as the kids in my class are. I'm just glad it is a holiday.  I really need a day to catch up.

(Artwork is courtesy of a student in my class.  It was the cover of her final biography project on which she received an A.  I think she was trying to draw Abraham Lincoln in profile and not as an alien, but I could be wrong because he has somehow been transported through time where he is able to address large crowds using a microphone, with some sort of tufted pink, green, and yellow, cushion as a chair.  It doesn't matter.  I just thought it was darn cute.)

Irrational Fears Rationalized

I admit it.  I am a fearful person.  I get nervous and scared easily.  Sometimes my response to fear is uncontrolled laughter and excessive chattiness.  A slightly less pleasant response is sweaty eyebrows and pits.  The third response is snot running down my face sobbing.  For example, I do not like to sit next to strangers in a movie theatre.  I can't stand it when it is crowded and as a result Amie and I have gone to excessive lengths to outsmart the computer when selecting our reserved tickets at LHM theaters (but that's another blog entry). This blog entry is designated to situations that have prompted the third response. 

My biggest fear began at an early age and continues to this day.  Snakes.  I hate them.  I vividly remember waking up in my top bunk bed screaming because a snake was in my bed.  I was unable to move and just sat there crying until my dad came and ripped off the bedspread which revealed not a ball python, but a roll of masking tape.  How a roll of masking tape made its way onto the top bunk? I'll never know, but that is when the fear really began to materialize.  It didn't help matters when we would traipse through the gully on my way to school and encounter snakes sunning themselves on the path. One of the worst snake related memories came when I was in Mr. Allen's AP biology class as a sophomore at Alta.  He had a giant python in the back of the room and having taken biology as a freshman I was able to witness two years worth of monthly "feedings." Sometimes rats, sometimes chickens, but the all-time worst was the white rabbit.  Now I had never heard a bunny make a sound up until this point but upon being stalked, snared, and strangled, by the python the bunny let out a blood curdling scream that haunts me to this day. Think Hannibal Lechter, "Do you hear the lam

bs Clarice?" Shiver. Mr. Allen mercifully realized that this was not going to be good so he stuck his hand in the cage and stuck his thumb in the rabbit's eye to kill it instantly.  I learned a lot that year in biology. My worst encounter with a snake came when I was walking in the foothills behind the U. with Sharon.  We liked to take this trail above Red Butte Gardens and we were just about at the end of the loop which would bring us back home when a gigantic rattlesnake at least three inches around was coiled and shaking its rattler.  I froze.  So did Sharon.  Eventually the snake uncoiled and slide off into the bushes but I couldn't unfreeze.  I could not proceed across the path and despite being only a few minutes from home we had to turn around and take the loop back the other direction.  It was terrifying.  This fear is so rational it could sink its fangs into me.

A second fear I have is falling into deep holes.  I would always avoid walking over manhole covers in the street or on sidewalks because it just creeped me out.  I admitted that this fear was pretty irrational until one day while working as a nanny I was outside helping one of the kids learn to ride a bike.  You know the drill.  I was running behind holding onto the seat helping her to

 balance when she got mad at me because I let go.  The reason?  I had unknowingly stepped on a manhole cover.  The problem.  The manhole cover wasn't sealed properly and my left leg went straight down into the hole skinning my shin on the way down. This resulted in another irrational fear becoming rationalized.  

A third fear that I hope never becomes rationalized is nuclear winter.  I think having grown up in the 70s/80s and having watched The Day After (The one where Steve Guttenberg is caught in a nuclear blast, loses all his hair, and must defend his family from a hungry hammer wielding radiation burned psycho)  has made me a little overly sensitive.  But I was in the movie theatre with some friends watching The Sum of All Fears  and I started bawling when a nuclear bomb went off and radioactive snow started to fall. Yikes.

Finally, Amie alerted me to the fact that killer bees have made their way to Utah.  My fear of killer bees began back in the day when they used to have Friday night fright night on channel 13, but then it moved to a Saturday matinee and they would show movies like Something Wicked this Way Comes, Carrie, The Towering Inferno, and The Swarm. So in the swarm this colony of killer bees surrounded people and they couldn't get away.  If they tried to get in their car the bees would surround the vehicle, come in through the vents, and sting you dead.  You couldn't run because they would swarm you.  You couldn't hide.  Your only hope was to jump in water but then they'd just hover over the water waiting to sting you when you came up for air so either you drowned or you got stung.  I felt relatively safe knowing that killer bees did not live in Utah, but every now and again I'd hear reports that swarms were slowly moving north.  I pretty much eliminated the possibility of every visiting Texas once I read a news report that they had be spotted there, so now I guess St. George is out too because some yahoo was keeping them as pets.  

This entry has gone on way longer than expected.  If you made it this far, I'm sorry for stealing precious moments of your life to reveal what clearly is a cry for help.  My next google search will be to find a good psychiatrist who is on my medical plan.  I'm sure they'll approve my visit. I'll just need to fax them a copy of this post.  

Got any irrational fears?  I'd love to hear them. Misery loves company -- or at least fraidy cats do.

Roses are red

It was quite a surprise when the principal walked into my classroom during our valentines party followed by a man in a suit and a women carrying one dozen long stemmed beautiful red roses. My first thought -- there's been some sort of mistake.  But actually, one of my students put my name in at Harmon's grocery store during our school PTA day and I was selected to receive the flowers.  She wrote, "Miss Garber makes everything fun -- even math."  I couldn't contain my excitement and I blurted out, "My first roses for Valentine's Day!" Then a sigh, "Actually, today is Friday the 13th."  I've got to remember to edit my comments before I speak them out loud.  But I was pretty excited and the roses are beautiful.  Who cares if my first valentine roses come from an 8 year old.

The Grammys

All due respect to Alison Krauss but Coldplay was robbed!  I loved the Justin Timberlake duet at the end.  I also loved the Chris Martin, Jay Z duet.  Kid Rock rocked.  Jennifer Hudson's song was touching, but one of my favorite moments was watching all these rappers sing along to Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline.  So fun.  On Saturday I went to brunch, but it turned into lunch because let's face it, I'm not really a morning person. Anyway.  It was fun reminiscing with Tina, Mel, and Stacy about Jr. High.  Good times.  Whoever thought a mandatory gymnastics unit was a good idea?

American Idol

American Idol has returned in all its glory.  I loved the episode from Salt Lake.  Pretty much summed up our state. I can't wait for Hollywood week.  I'm so glad they brought back the group songs.  Get ready for some train wrecks people.  I don't have any favorites yet, still too soon to tell, but I did like the girl from Salt Lake with the tattoos all down her arm.  I liked how she sang her song. But my favorite moment came from the first episode when Ryan Seacrest tried to high five the blind guy.  It was pretty funny.  

I'm so blue...

Today I'm feeling a little glum.  The reasons?

1. No milk.  I wanted cereal for breakfast.  Now I have to get dressed and go shopping or else settle for toast.
2. Alison Becker no longer hosts VHI video countdown.  It's a new guy and he just can't bring the funny like she did.  I knew she made a mistake when she cut those bangs.
3. I'm sure it's just water weight.
4. My DVR went weird when I recorded this week's Biggest Loser so I only saw the first 15 minutes.
5. I thought I'd watch it online so I came downstairs but I forgot my glasses.  I'm actually typing this with the screen about a foot from my face.
6. Rain.
7. Toxic rain.  
8. Those stroke commercials -- now every time I get dizzy, have a headache, or slur my words I think I'm having a stroke.  
9. 401K.  My statements came last week.
10. I heard the new U2 single and I just don't like it.
11. Laundry, another Saturday more loads of laundry.

Here are a few things that will surely help me get out of this funk:

1. All Small and Mighty -- So small, so mighty, and it does smell pretty good.
2. U2 is releasing a new CD not just a single.
3. Lost is back.
4. I actually like toast.  Especially if I eat it with honey.
5. It really is water weight. My scale can calculate that.
6. I can always read the top 20 videos online. 
7. The rain should clear out the inversion.
8. I have a laptop so when I walk upstairs to get my glasses I can take it with me.
9. I still have many, many years till retirement so my 401K can recover.
10. It's Saturday.

I feel better already.