All By Myself

Amie and I went to the Bees game on the 4th of July and stayed all 12 innings to enjoy the fireworks show which was scheduled for after the game.  It was actually quite fun and it didn't matter that the Bees lost because really by then it was 11:30pm and all I wanted was to see some fireworks.  

But, something happened at the game that has been bugging me.  It bugged me the instant it happened and still more than a week later it flits into my head and I start dreaming up all these scenarios where things work out differently or I come to terms with the unnaturalness of it all and it has really caused me to pause and evaluate my life.

So, we have great seats, almost behind home plate protected by the giant net that should deflect any errant or foul balls. We are chatting away hoping that the people to the left and right of us don't arrive on time or at all so we can spread out and avoid any awkward personal contact with a stranger.   We breathed a sigh of relief when the family we thought was headed for our row sat directly in front of us and then it happened -- this perfectly normal looking guy, not weird or strange or greasy in anyway files in behind the family and takes a seat.  We immediately check him out because that's what single girls do and wistfully sigh because he is surely holding a seat while he waits for his wife, or his girlfriend, or his partner, or whoever, but s/he never comes.  Instead, another family comes forcing him to scoot over and take his true seat wedged between two Utah families at a baseball game.  Here it is -- this guy bought a single ticket and came to a very crowded game on the Fourth of July -- ALONE--ALL BY HIMSELF--FLYING SOLO.  

Does that weird anyone else out?  I was so shocked by the whole thing I could hardly concentrate on the game.  Who does that?  Clearly, he had to be from out of town and he decided to enjoy the local triple A team.  He actually did seem to be enjoying it.  He stood up with the rest of us and cheered loudly when the Tacoma Raineers' manager stomped out onto the field, argued with the umpire, threw his hat to the ground and got ejected.  He even took out his camera phone and took a few pics.  (He probably posted them to his Facebook account while we were sitting there.)  It disturbed me so much that he was there by himself that I had to create this elaborate life for him.  He was away traveling on a holiday and he decided he didn't want to be alone in his hotel room so he purchased a single ticket from one of those guys holding up the "I need a ticket sign" (I used to think...if you need a ticket why don't you just go and buy one at the ticket office?...until I realized oh, they're really selling tickets to people who don't want to sit in the nose bleed seats or seats that might give you a nose bleed because you get hit in the face with a foul ball.) This single, all by himself mystery man, of course took Trax from his hotel room so he wouldn't get lost and the reason he left before the fireworks was because he had to catch an early flight and he didn't want to be out too late, but he totally would have stayed for the show if that Raineer hadn't tied it up in the ninth inning prolonging the end of the game.

Does this weird anyone else out?  Is it okay to do things like go to a baseball game alone? Would you do it?

Now I am single so I do have to do quite a few things on my own, by myself, or else I wouldn't get anything done.  But there are definitely all by myself situations and then there are wouldn't be caught dead doing it all by myself situations.

Shopping for groceries -- alone.

Shopping for clothes -- alone.

Shopping for books -- alone.

Shopping for a car -- most definitely not alone.  I need a voice of reason along with me.

Going to the ladies room -- alone.

Going to the library -- alone.

Going to the doctor -- alone.

Going to the movies -- most definitely not alone.  I did go to the movies by myself back when I taught at a year-round school and was off track for three weeks at a time during weird times of the year and I hadn't yet discovered the miracle that is DVR, but given a choice I wouldn't do it again. It's just not very fun.

Going to a restaurant -- not alone.

Going through the drive through -- alone.

Going to water aerobics -- alone.

Going to the pool -- not alone.

Picking out a new sofa -- not alone.

Picking my nose -- please, please be alone.

Walking around the neighborhood -- alone.

Walking the Jordan River Trail -- not alone.  I used to do this alone until one day I was walking and a homeless man literally jumps onto the trail in front of me and says I'm pretty.  Normally, that would be flattering, but when I am most decidedly not looking pretty and the complement is coming from someone who is missing all of his front teeth it is a little scary.  I sped on past him and then for the rest of the trail all I could think was "I am all alone."  Shortly after that experience I procured the Dudster to shake that "you are all alone" feeling.

Anyway, I just want to know what it was that this guy had that made it so he could go to this baseball game by himself.  I'm oddly in awe of the gumption, or confidence, or whatever it was that made it possible for him to accomplish this feat.  I nearly broke my very strict rule of not drawing attention to myself in public places by leaning over and actually asking him where he came from and what he was doing there but if I did that I might as well just go ahead and order the sizzling fajitas the next time I go to Chili's.  Like that is going to happen. He might have even answered that he was from Sugarhouse and he just really likes the Bees, or that he has a crush on the first baseman.  Oh, now that would have been good.  Curses social anxiety and other public neurosis!  Why must I suffer so?