The Power of Environmental Print

Normally, I don't laugh when I correct spelling tests. But when three kids miss a gimme word like "we" it was either laugh or cry. Yes, folks, they spelled it Wii.

Letterman V. McCain

I can be pretty political when I want to be. I've tried to keep it out of my blog because I tend to make incriminating comments that come back to haunt me later. Trust me I am very opinionated when it comes to local, state, and national politics. But, I'd like to set my personal views aside and I hope that everyone can appreciate the following post for what it is meant to be -- political humor. Just a word of warning to any future candidates appearing on The Late Show. Don't cross David Letterman.

David Letterman

(The clip is nine minutes. The best part comes when he's sitting with Keith Oberman at about the 7 minute mark.)

I just found another clip that is a lot shorter with most of the highlights.

The Today Show

Now, I'm off to the store to buy a video tape for tonight. I've got my DVR set to record ER and Grey's Anatomy. Unfortunately, or fortunately Grey's is two hours tonight so now I am going to need to record CSI on an actual video tape. Oh I love premiere week. BTW -- Heroes was awesome. Yes, lame 80's term but I don't care. While I'm at it I'll add that it was gnarly and rad.

Stay at Home Week

I like it how the networks have come up with a newly declared holiday -- "Stay at Home Week." I don't know if I can get on board. First, it conflicts with apple week at school. The new celebration also conflicts with teach math at the U night, and get eyebrows plucked for picture day salon appointment. Oh yeah, and stay up all night translating kid writing evening. Well, regardless of all the conflicts I couldn't be happier. I can't wait for Heroes and Thursday night might require some creative recording. Thank goodness for DVR. My Stay at Home Week might become Stay at Home Weekend. So far the premieres I've seen have been okay. Loved Biggest Loser that show is very motivational and inspiring. I watched Fringe -- it was okay but it just reminded me of the X files only not as creepy. The two stars are no Mulder and Scully and the crazy scientist can't compete with the three horsemen. The lead FBI investigator is kind of creepy but not as mysterious as the cigarette smoking man. I'll probably continue to watch as long as it doesn't conflict with anything else. I might have to drop America's Next Top Model. I watched the first 5 minutes and I think Tyra has been huffing the hairspray fumes. She is crazy -- crazy bad not crazy good. I may have to abandon this guilty pleasure.

Matt

Happy Birthday Mattoo Wattoo!

Some favorite memories of Matt:

1. Underoos. He was a big fan.
2. Moon Boots. Another big fan.
3. Dad comes home from the store with a candy bar and hands it to Matt. Melanie and I look at each other -- "Why'd he get one?" Dad,"'Cause he's 'the boy'."
4. Racing from the top of Daisy Ave to see who could get home first -- Matt on a pastel green scooter. The rest of us -- Blue Astrovan. Matt won by a headflip over the handbars.
5. Driving across country to visit grandpa in Mississippi. Many stops at motels. Matt racing to be the first one into the room so he could be the first one into the pool. Face planting it on the motel door. Melissa, Melanie, and Michelle walking in first.
6. Matt would do anything for $5. Including the "Nestea Plunge." (Straight backflop into a pool. Arms outstretched.)
7. Give the boy a box of aluminum foil, a #10 can of beans, and a video camera -- You've got hours of entertainment.
8. Matt unfamiliar with Wassail innocently asking how to drink it -- Mel and I responding, rather sarcastically, "In a bowl Matt." Five minutes later Matt walks in with a steaming bowl of Wassail. I don't think he'll ever live it down.
   
9. Realizing how cool email can be when Matt was on his mission.
   
10. Great phone call concerning a certain "calling" in the primary. Let's just say I was a little manic at the time.
11. Best memory. Matt finding Kiley. They are the perfect pair.

Hope you have a happy birthday. You're a great brother.

Watch out Wasabi or The Princess and Her Pea

I went to Sunflower Farmers' Market the other day. It's a new store in Murray with many healthy options. There are some great prices on fresh fruits and vegetables and some not so great prices on other boxed organic type stuff. One of my favorite snack items I normally buy at Target is their bag of cashews and cranberries, and then a bag of their almonds and blueberries and mix them together. Well, at Sunflower market they had all of these items for sale individually so I bought a container of whole unsalted raw cashews, one of whole raw almonds, another of dried blueberries, and finally, one of dried cranberries. I mixed all of them into one large container and these have been a delicious, sweet, crunchy snack all week long. It cost about as much as the two bags at Target but I got twice the amount and a whole lot more blueberries.

The other the thing I bought was a container of wasabi peas. Now I've had wasabi before and I've had dried peas before but I've never had them together. They seem to be all the rage and I've heard mention of them in several different instances in several different situations so I thought I'd jump on this bandwagon and try them out.

When I got home I tentatively popped a pea into my mouth. What followed was an intense tingle then a somewhat satisfying crunch. It was not unlike eating a sour patch kid, at first they're sour, but then they're sweet. The peas were definitely not sweet or sour but more like a painful pleasure kind of vibe. I still wasn't sure how I felt about them so I sampled a few more. I can see how these can be a little addictive. I was leisurely snacking away when apparently I got bored with the project and rather than eating them one at a time I got a little more adventurous and played around with two or three. Let's just say the pleasure to pain ratio was definitely starting to lean more towards the painful side. Finally, I decided I needed to be done with them and scooped the last handful of about eight or nine peas, no - not directly into the package but, perfectly into my mouth. What followed was the most intense nostril fire I have ever experienced. It was like in Back Draft. When I closed my mouth a bit of a vaccuum was created and the fire needed to escape somewhere. Where? I was to stunned to open my mouth and spit the peas out. No, the only exit was via the nasal cavity. I no longer have any nostril hair and my nose ran for the next two hours but all-in-all I'd buy the peas again. I'll consider their purchase a diet technique. Eating only one pea at a time can have it's benefits. Maybe that's why the Asian gymnasts were so tiny, that, and the fact that they were twelve.

A Rant

I do not like inside recess. The kids think they like inside recess, but they really don't. There is something about cool fresh air and the ability to run and scream uninhibited that enables them to return to the classroom somewhat ready to participate and learn. Sure, we can do movement activities inside, we can stretch, we can sing, we can play a game, or even have free play, but there still is that stifling issue of having to remain in the square room, breathing the same air 26 other little bodies are breathing, and having to control the volume.

When it rains, snows, or is otherwise inclement weather, we go out. Maybe not for the full 15 minutes, but we go out. This does two things. 1) It allows the kids the opportunity to run and yell 2) It allows me to go to the bathroom. Unless, of course, I have recess duty, but then at least I get to breathe some fresh air.

I lived in Russia for a year and a half. The cold or wet isn't going to kill ya. Dress for the weather and you'll be fine.

Wardrobe Mishaps

Friday I came home from work and immediately started to strip down so I could change into my pajamas. Yes, I didn't have any plans and it was already after 7:00 so I'm not going to feel guilty about spending a weekend night in my pajamas watching a Hallmark channel movie.

I digress. (Matt, or any other male individual, in case you are a regular reader, you might want to skip ahead to the bulleted section.) As I undress I'm having a hard time with my bra. The hooks just aren't coming undone. The situation was not looking good. My bra, AKA tourniquet, needed to come off. As I'm trying to remember where I put my scissors I look down and realize that there was something a little off about the fabric. Rather than pretty lace all I see are rough seams. Somehow I managed to put my bra on inside out. The new knowledge helped me free myself from the metal clasps. Instead of pushing left and out I needed to push right and in -- Ahhh freedom. As I snuggled in to watch cute Mark Conseulos in For the Love of Grace. I started to wonder how I managed to let that happen. I must have been somewhat delirious that morning not to have noticed the inside out situation. I really had to work on the fasteners. But then I realized that this is not an isolated event. There have been several occasions where I have suffered a wardrobe mishap. Here are a few.

• I once went a whole day with my cardigan buttons misaligned. I don't know how it happened and the sad thing is no one told me.
• I once walked into school fully dressed but wearing my slippers. I didn't notice until I entered the office and then proceeded to announce to everyone that I was wearing them. The most comfortable day on me feet ever.
• I once wore bright purple tights with a green skirt. I thought they were black. When people asked if I got dressed in the dark I just answered yes. The harsh light of morning is sometimes a little too much for me.
• I have a skirt that likes to completely turn around on my body. I might start the day wearing it the right way but by the end of the day the back slit has now become the front slit.
• I also have a sock that does the exact same thing.
• Tagless T-shirts are great except when you wear them inside out and backwards.
• Knee socks -- They usually stay up until noon. Then, from lunchtime on I fight a battle that no elderly woman ever wins. I'm in a constant state of tugging and pulling.

Some of my wardrobe mishaps happen once I'm at work.

• I've already mentioned chalklines from the blackboard elsewhere on this blog. Too many to count. Thank heavens for whiteboards.
• I must remember to avoid tomato sauce at all cost. It always ends up somewhere on my clothing.
• Tuesday I wore a long black skirt to school. That is the day I teach my class at the U. That is also the day one of my students dropped his lunch tray in the cafeteria and his mashed potatoes and gravy landed all over the front of my skirt.
• The all time worst wardrobe mishap occurred the first year I was teaching. I was living at home because a first year teacher makes little and spends it all on her students. I drove into the parking lot at the crack of dawn and as the car came to a stop I threw up all over the front of my dress. A lesser teacher may have driven home at this point and called a sub -- not me. I called my mom to bring me a new jumper and finished the day. Martyr? Maybe. But, you just don't realize how hard it is to write sub plans for 7 year olds.
  

Finally, most of my mishaps occur because my laundry is usually in some varying state of undone. 1) On the floor 2) Sorted but dirty 3) In the washing machine 4) In the dryer but still not dry 5) Clean but wrinkled

I once bought an entire new outfit top to bottom, inside and out just to avoid doing my laundry. Shortly thereafter my family staged a loving intervention. While I was teaching a class they came and cleaned my house and did all my laundry for me. I'm embarrassed to say multiple washing machines and a trip to the laundry mat for the driers were necessary. In my defense I was trying to recover from a terrible bought of whooping cough and I had been extremely ill. But it was still one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

Anyway, I'm sure I've had many more wardrobe mishaps due to ill fitting, mismatched coloring, or unfortunate styling, but I choose to remain oblivious.

Overheard

Many years ago when I was poor and living in Salt Lake City without a car I always said I would like to write a book entitled Conversations Overheard on the UTA. I liked to put my headphones on but not turn on the music and just listen. Oh, the stories. I also employed the use of my headphones at the laundry mat. Thus, prompting the idea for my sequel, Converstations Overheard at the Laundry Mat.

I now have my third title in the installment, Conversations Overheard in the Classroom. Fortunately children are pretty open, or naive, and no headphones are necessary. Here are two conversations from yesterday.

"Boy there sure are a lot of people crying today!"

"George Bush is breaking the law. He's trying to stop the war in Iraq and Abraham Lincoln started the war so that people can be free."

I have no explanation for the crying except to say my usual reaction to tears in the classroom (unless blood, bones, or other bodily fluids are involved) is not unlike Tom Hanks' character in A League of Their Own.

There's no crying in second grade.