Happy Meal = Happy Puppy

Yesterday as I was driving home from work I couldn't bare the thought of having to go grocery shopping. I was completely out of dog food and had already filled Dudley's bowl with Life cereal that morning. It was from a box I had purchased at Smith's during one of their 10 for $10 deals about a year ago so I didn't feel too bad about using it up.

This first week of school is always so exhausting and I was looking forward to getting home, curling up in my bed, and clearing out my DVR of all the TV shows I missed this week. So, rather than stopping at the store I opted for Wendy's drive through. I order a Southwest salad and Diet Coke and then I heard myself say, "And I'd like a cheeseburger kids meal with a frosty." The attendant informed me that the kids meal already comes with a frosty so I told him I'd have a rootbeer. I would have ordered a Diet Coke but I didn't want him to think I was giving my "kid" D.C.

When I got home I plopped the cheeseburger and fries into the Dudster's bowl. He couldn't have been happier. I ate the frosty with my salad and I dumped the root beer. I did keep the cool Magic Tree House audio CD that came with the meal. I'll be able to use that in the classroom. Now I know what you're thinking. It is not okay to feed a dog human food. I know I'm a terrible, indulgent, pet owner that places my needs above my poor dog's. But, I was tired.

So, this morning I got up and made him some scrambled eggs. I really need to go shopping.



Dudley's meal.







My meal.

Note to Self

So I'm at the dentist's office ready to get my cavities filled. I recline in the chair, open my mouth and as the dentist adjusts the light, shot in hand, he says..."So, we're going to need to have a little talk about your blog." My blog? What? How did he...? MOM!!! So I didn't realize that my mom and dad also go to the same dentist and coincidentally scheduled an appointment shortly after my post entitled The C Word. Mom, you know I love you, but, did you really have to mention the fact that my dentist (I'm being very careful not to name names in case he does a google search) was the star of two, now three, posts? He's worried that I'm disparaging his name and basically the entire dentistry profession. He's also seconds away from giving me a shot and grinding down my cavity-ridden molar. Ugh. Not the position I want to be in. I did confess to mentioning a certain ultra cool X-ray machine. All in all the appointment wasn't too bad. He was pretty hilarious and I laughed through the entire ordeal, and that was without the aide of gas.

My favorite moment happened later that evening after purchasing a bowl of burrito soup (Yum!) from Barbacoa. I sat down and began to eat. The entire left side of my mouth was still numb and I was worried about biting my cheek and not knowing it, so thus the soup purchase. What I should have been worried about was keeping the soup in my mouth. Every spoonful dribbled out the side of my mouth and down my shirt. I felt like I was in a Buster Keaton movie. I gave up after having only eaten a fourth of the bowl. Ironically the only thing I could really keep in my mouth were the very crunchy and extremely tasty tortilla strip garnishes that come with the soup.

Pet Peeves

Whenever I start a new year with my students I always let them in on a few of my pet peeves. I figure if I am upfront right from the beginning I can generally eliminate any Miss Garber's lost it and is going crazy scenes that tend to occur when students do these things. Here are my top three irritations, somewhat unique to me, in no particular order.

1. Gloppy glue -- young children like to hold the glue bottle at least 12 inches above the paper they are going to glue something to and then squeeze like crazy. The result is glue oozing out everywhere. It takes twice as long to dry and what typically occurs is that when the child turns their project in, inevitably another child will place their paper on top of it, adhering both pieces of art together. I avoid this scene on simple cut and paste projects by allowing students to use glue sticks. However, for construction paper projects that require liquid Elmer's (don't get me started on the washable school glue) I go over with great detail the gluing procedures. First, place the tip of the glue bottle on the smaller paper that you are going to glue and then give a gentle squeeze. Trust the glue. It will stick as long as it has time to dry. More is not better.
   
2. Chairs -- Push them in. Also, if the chair is orange it needs to be at the reading table. Brown chairs stay at the project table and blue chairs, well, of course they stay at student desks. I wouldn't have this problem if all the chairs matched, but that would just make my life easy.
3. Pencils -- Don't bite 'em, flick 'em, roll 'em, or use them as a weapon. My biggest pet peeve involves the sharpening of pencils. I can appreciate a nice sharp pencil as much as anyone - granted, a lot of the problem lies with the lame-o low bid pencils that the district purchases. I think the lead in the barrel of the pencil is broken every two centimeters in every pencil ordered. Students are forced to get out of their seat and are in constant need of a new pencil. As soon as the pencil sharpener starts it's like Pavlov's Bell. Pencils begin to break, students start talking, and chaos ensues. All the while the student sharpening their pencil has ground it down to the tiniest nub which granted, is "cute" but not very efficient. I attempt to deal with my pencil sharpener issues by doing several things: each student gets two cushion grip mechanical pencils in addition to four newly sharpened regular pencils, at centers they get to use pens or markers, I have a can containing sharp pencils and a can containing dull pencils -- Take a pencil, leave a pencil policy. I also give every student their own pencil sharpener for emergencies. Thus creating my vacuum girls pet peeve, pencil shavings, for some reason they don't bother me.

Well, hopefully, by explaining my pet peeves in a nice, rational, and sane way, the children will comply with my requests and together we will have a stellar year. So far, I'm on a roll. I forgot my plan book at school this Saturday. I begged my principal to open the school. The secretary took pity on me and came in for two hours yesterday. But when it was time to leave I left it sitting open underneath the schedule chart on top of the bookshelf. The perfect place for it. Oh well, ready or not here they come...

Can I Help You With That?

So, on my way to work I decide to run into the Top Stop and pick up a Diet Pepsi. I love the Top Stop because they have the yummy pebble/Sonic ice. I figure I might as well succumb to a frosty beverage before I walk into what was sure to be a long hot day at the Park. So, I'm in line standing behind a man with a cast on his hand. When the attendant rings up his purchase he goes for his wallet. Because I'm standing behind him, I witness the struggle that ensues as he attempts to free his wallet from his buttoned back pocket. After what seems like several minutes I think to myself, "I should offer to help him." But, then I quickly realize how foolish that would be, given the proximity to his backside, and immediately discard the silly notion with a little laugh. The laughing was not inside my head. The man turns to me and says, "It's not funny." Which then just prompts more laughing. The poor man tells the cashier to cancel his purchase as he walks to the bathroom so he can access his cash. I look at the cashier and we both just laugh. I don't know what's worse, looking like I was laughing at him, or actually thinking that I would help him unbutton his pants. Ugh!

Fortunately, Unfortunately

Fortunately summer vacation has been one of the best ever.
Unfortunately it is pretty much over.
Fortunately I love starting a new school year.
Unfortunately I only have two days to be ready for the kiddos.
Fortunately I have been working hard these past two weeks and should only need about two days to be ready.
Unfortunately I have to teach a math class tomorrow so that knocks me down to only one day.
Fortunately I have the weekend to finish up any last minute details and make necessary copies.
Unfortunately I don't own an industrial size copy machine.
Fortunately I don't use a lot of worksheets.
Unfortunately I do use a lot of graphic organizers, journal pages, and have lots of notes to prepare.
Fortunately I still have today to work on things.
Unfortunately I am wasting time updating my blog.
Fortunately I'm almost done.
Unfortunately I'm exhausted from watching the Olympics.
Fortunately I got to see Shawn Johnson win a gold medal.
Unfortunately it still doesn't help me prepare for the first day.
Fortunately I have a super fun idea for a first day lesson.
Unfortunately the book I ordered still hasn't arrived.
Fortunately I can go to the library. I love the library.

I'll break the chain and look on the fortunate side -- I really am getting excited for a new batch of kids. I love this time of year!

The C Word

Cavities -- I've got um. Two to be exact. So I went to my dental appointment today. I sat down in the chair, and the dentist said, now tell me girl, why does it hurt and where....Actually, he said, "Did you know that one of your teeth is rotated exactly 180 degrees?" Why yes, I did know that. Every time I go to the dentist he tells me that. My dentist also happens to specialize in forensic dentistry and upon first discovering my 180 degree molar he exclaimed that little idiosyncrasy would be helpful in identifying my remains, if the need should arise. So everyone take note -- 180 degree molar.

Today was especially fun because my dentist was very excited to show off his new "ultra cool" digital X-ray machine. It was so ultra cool that he was able to see cavities that he never would have identified otherwise. In fact this new ultra cool X-ray located the two minuscule cavities that most definitely would have been invisible with the old X-ray. He's telling me this why?

So I have another appointment on the 28th. I guess I'll have to keep flossing.

And the winner is...

I loved watching SYTYCD last night. Joshua won. He is such a sweetheart. I was also happy because the judges chose their favorite dances and they performed then again. The performances they chose were all on my favorites list. Yeah! It was a great finale.

Season Finale

Thursday is the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance. What will I do with myself now that I have freed up two nights of television viewing? I'm sad it's over. I love watching the dancers -- so talented and fun to watch. I can't decide who I want to win. Katee has been a favorite since day one, but I really like Joshua too. I've compiled some of my favorite performances. Hopefully the links all work, it can be hit or miss with youtube. Well, if you have a half hour to kill they are worth a watch. If you only have one minute to kill watch Gev's final solo. It's AMAZING! (Mom, all you have to do is click on the link and everything will start automatically -- it's a miracle.)

BTW, it's Wednesday night and I am going downstairs to take my garbage can out right now. Yeah for me! I can't miss three weeks in a row. Also, I have been flossing diligently, sometimes five times a day. I'm hoping that if I increase my average I will have a positive report. Wish me luck.

What About Now?

I have loved Chris Daughtry ever since American Idol and I have loved the song What About Now since the first time I heard it. Last week I saw the video for the first time and I was stunned. It is powerful, moving, and worth a watch/listen. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Watch video

Pantless in the Park

So I finished Breaking Dawn yesterday -- I think Bella redeemed herself as a heroine, strong and capable, she just needed some time to mature. I was on a deadline to finish because I needed my trunk back. I've been hauling around all of the school things I've purchased over the summer in my car (except for the crayons and glue sticks, I've already done that once, not pretty), and now that my school is open again I planned to drop everything off and work in my classroom. First order of business -- put all the furniture back where it belongs.

For those of you who don't know, I teach in a lovely old school. It was probably built in the late 60s. This was back when they knew how to build schools. I have one whole wall of windows, big bulletin boards, coat racks in the hallway, a sink with a long counter top, and a small teacher work space that I like to call "my office." There are really only two problems with my classroom. First, there are only two electrical outlets in the whole room, so computers, listening centers, telephone, pencil sharpener, CD player, overhead projector, TV, VCR, and fans all have to share these outlets. One of the outlets is located conveniently over the sink so that limits my electrical options. The second BIG problem is my school does not have any air conditioning. The walls are all brick. My classroom has two exterior walls (facing east and southeast) and is surrounded by black top. Basically it doubles as a kiln. The bricks heat up and stay heated all day long. My room usually registers 10 degrees warmer than the outside temperature.

So, today I start moving everything back in place. The summer kids have done a lovely job carpeting the rug and dusting. It really looks nice. After about 30 minutes of pushing and shoving I am drenched in sweat. I probably lost ten pounds of water weight. I say this because as I'm pushing my long table across the room I notice a cool breeze on my knees. This is a little odd because my classroom is in no way breezy and I was wearing pants. At least I had been wearing pants. No, upon further inspection my pants had fallen all the way down around my ankles. Yes, I was pantless at Peruvian Park. Thankfully, I was alone and was able to quickly remedy the situation. So the lesson I have learned is -- tomorrow, drawstring.

Breaking Dawn

After a fire up Payson canyon postponed Mel's camping trip, I was able to meet up with her at Barnes & Noble for the release of Breaking Dawn. Yes, we were among the throngs of giddy girls and a few reluctant (or secretly giddy) guys ready to be among the first to devour the final book in the Twilight saga. The evening started at 9:30, followed by an eggs benedict mistake at IHOP, waiting outside B&N for an hour, then baling and going to Walmart where we paid $13.86. (This is now the fifth Walmart blog. Apparently, I'm a regular shopper.) So I got home at about 1:30 and proceeded to read about ten pages. I woke up around 7:00 and read about ten more, then at about 10:00 a.m. I figured dawn had broken and it was time to get serious.

So, the first 150 pages or so are a little descriptive? (She said blushing.) After vehemently defending my love of Bella and Edward on Kelly's blog with the lame defense of "guilty pleasure" I am feeling a little guilty. I was feeling good and justified about my rationalization when the Orson Scott Card authored the article about Stephenie Meyer in the Time most influential people issue. But after reading the short blurb a second time I realized that while he was the author he was exhibiting exceptional journalistic skills by not making his opinion known just reporting on others'. (Still not sure how he feels about her.) But, so far I am going to need to eat a little crow because I cannot justify the fact that this is classified as young adult literature. It is clearly adult.

I'm not so hypocritical that I will close the book and not finish it because I do love the characters and despite all the "relationship analysis" (Matt's words -- not mine) I have to finish what I start -- this only applies to books and not anything like cleaning the bathroom, knitting a sweater, or healthy meal planning. But my Twilight recommendation with an asterisk now includes a footnote and possibly some required reading of the OSC article that Kelly, Carter, and now I, heartily endorse.